i've been staying away from kate for the past week. when she comes to get brooke, i'm out. when i have to get her from kates, i send carmen. i'm sure it's upsetting brooke because i know she was enjoying the fact katelyn and i were getting along.
•••
brooke: daddy can mommy come over??
josh: not today baby. stellas coming over for a play date while jess is at work
brooke: ok
josh: come on. bath time
•••
after bathing brooke, jess dropped stella off and i'm sitting outback in the pool as the girls swim around. for 6 year olds, they're really good swimmers because they swim here a lot. brooke swims over to me.
brooke: can you fix my ponytail?
i nod and take the little hair tie. i have enough trouble putting her hair up when it's dry, let alone wet and filled with chlorine. after doing it, she swims back towards stella. i stay on the little bench in the pool drinking my beer.
•••
the doorbell rings and i go answer it.
josh: oh. katelyn.
katelyn: hey. is brooke ready?
i look at her confused.
katelyn: it's my night.
josh: shit. ok brooke!!
brooke and stella run down from the play room.
josh: brooke your going with mommy tonight
brooke: ok
josh: go pack your bag. i'll come check in a minute
brooke: what about stella?
josh: me and stella are gonna hangout when you leave
brooke nods and runs upstairs. stella follows.
katelyn: this is the second time this week you forgot
josh: sorry
katelyn: and when i drop her off your never home. are you alright?
josh: i'm fine. just busy
katelyn: right. well i can come over here some days and watch her if it's easier for you?
josh: no it's ok.
i've only been around her for 5 minutes and i'm already like drooling over her. brooke comes down followed by stella. brooke jumps a bit so i pick her up and hug her.
josh: carmen will come get you tomorrow night munchkin
brooke: ok. i love you daddy
josh: i love you too
she kisses my cheek making me smile before i set her down and she leaves with kate.
•••
stella and i finished playing candy land when jess shows up. she kisses me.
•••
that night i lie in bed thinking.
jess is amazing. i lover her so much. but i really have gotta stop lying to myself and everyone else. katelyn takes my damn breath away. when she's around me it's like we're the only people in the world. when she gives me a small hug, i erupt with butterflies. she's the one i love and i wanna be with her. it may complicate thing and even make jess hate me, but it's so worth it to have her be mine again. and this time maybe we could even be together forever.
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