Trust Takes Moments to Break, But Time to Create

11-Marinette

It's official! 

He's onto me. 

I know it.

Crap.

Ohhhh Crap.

How in the world do I get him off my trail? No one can know the fact of me being Ladybug. "How do I get him away from the ideas of me being Ladybug Tikki?! I have no idea what to do! Oh my gosh, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? UGH!!!!" I flop into bed, not caring since it's one am. I look over to the calendar to see the date. Crud. In two weeks will be the beginning of the preparations of the Lunar New Year, and I have no idea how I'm going to celebrate it. 

It is a family affair, and although I know now akumas might be the most at fault for my parents and my now distant relationship, I still wish to stay away since we always celebrate with Kim's family. Kim, another one of Lila's puppets. I smile though, as I've always loved the holiday.  I'll celebrate by myself with Tikki. It'll be simplistic, but a nice time away from the drama of what's happened over the past few weeks. We'll go to the festival area in Paris where the asian population of Paris celebrates together for the Chinese New Year for a gigantic festival on the fifteenth day. The fireworks and lantern lighting ceremonies are unmatched. 

"Mare! It's time to go!" I nod, straightening my clothing before Tikki flies into my purse and I leave my dormitory only to be greeted by Felix. 

"Hello, Marinette. You seem better." He's asking an explanation with his expression and tone of voice. Cat Noir does the same thing. Cat Noir...

They have similar appearances, nearly identical even.

Their bluntness is the same.

Their similar reactions to the discovery of my constant wounds.

Their expressions are the same.

They speak similarly with the choices of their words. 

The bags under his eyes that match my own, as if...

As if he was out the same times as patrol and late night akumas. 

Could he be..? 

I stare at Felix, my mind whirring at the possibility. I'll have to be extra careful because if he is my partner in justice, then he no doubt will figure out my identity. I can not allow this to happen. It's not as if I don't trust my partner, since I do trust him with my life, but I am afraid of being a disappointment to him. I don't want to lose another person in my life that I trusted. It sounds selfish, but I cannot lose someone else. I just can't. Especially Cat Noir, after all we've been through fighting Hawkmoth. 

I'll have to make sure his search for my identity ends here. 

Here and now. 

I look away silently and rush off in the direction of the dining hall. But I don't stop there, not wanting to be questioned by him, Allegra, Claude, or Allen. Allegra notices me, smiling and waving, her long blonde braid waving with her, along with Claude and Allen smiling and beckoning me over, but I ignore them. Instead, I rush off to the library. Once inside the quiet place, I feel my worry start to lesson. I find a quiet secluded corner where no one was watching, and sit down with a nonfiction book on how to start your own business. 

If no one was going to let me take the classes, I'll just have to do things myself. 

"Mare? Are you okay?" I look at Tikki with wide eyes. "You can't be out in the open Tikki. Get bak in the purse before someone sees you!" She nods, but she also gives me a look of determination. 

"You need to talk at some point Mare, to someone, I know you are not okay right now." I look down at the now closed purse containing my kwami. Sighing, I go back to my reading. I need to talk to someone, but with my stitches delicate, I don't want to rip them again. I need to busy myself, get my mind away from all the pain, stress, and confusion. I'm desperate, pathetically desperate, but I can't help it. I don't know how to stop it. That's when I hear the voices, first came Allegra's british accented calm tone. 

"She came this way." Then, I heard Allen. 

"Felix, why are you looking for her, she seemed to be wanted some space." Then, Felix. 

"I have a theory, and I must converse with her about some particular files." Then, Claude's voice came through.

"Alright man, we'll meet you at the office. Let us know what happens." A theory? Felix has a theory? I gulp, panic filling me up. Could it be a theory of me being Ladybug? It couldn't be could it? Shoot. I need to get outta here. I desperately look around, finding no way that doesn't force me to pass him in the open. That's when I feel the attack, a panic attack. I try to calm down, but it isn't working, especially when I feel my phone vibrating, telling me someone is calling. Looking at the screen, my worry rises when I notice Mother's picture on the caller ID. My panic goes up, all the stress bubbling over like a volcano. What does she want? I know an akuma was most of the cause for the situation of them kicking me out, but it doesn't change the fact of what happened. 

I don't want to answer their call. 

I don't want to talk to my own parents. 

What is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be Ladybug, super heroine of Paris! How is it that I save the livelihoods of the civilians of this city everyday, and yet, I can't save my own. A curse. The curse of the cruel reality. That's when I feel I'm shaking, the walls of the library closing in on me. I have to get outta here. Now. I hear the footsteps of Felix coming closer, and I see my chance to sneak out. I take it, grateful for someone to go my way this morning. Sneaking away from Felix Agreste, I leave to get to the office. Maybe there, in front of our peers, he won't confront me on his theory. 

I hope...