Trust Takes Moments to Break, But Time to Create

13-Marinette

This could be it. 

This could cause me to finally find Hawkmoth. I stare that the files. Butterflies, purple stained glass, sound proof insulation, and a glass casket. "Why would Gabriel buy a glass casket? Who would he bury inside it?" Felix sighs, seemingly exasperated. 

"I do not know. My mother didn't die, just disappeared. Even Father doesn't know where she could be, and he was desperate to find her before just giving up." I stare at the casket file. It was bought ten years ago, yet Hawkmoth only began attacking a couple years ago. "Something doesn't add up here." Felix nods in agreement, it looks like he is stumped himself. Then, the PA sounds, an announcement being made. 

"Due to complications with the technology, the rest of classes today are cancelled, please leave your offices and return to your dorms or leave the school for the rest of the day until further notice. Classes will not resume until the technology is repaired. Thank you."  Then I hear a whoop of excitement. Claude. He barges into Felix's office with the largest smile on his face. 

"We are heading out today as office peers! Attendance is mandatory!" Allan is laughing. 

"Claude, dude! You don't need to scare them out of their wits!" Felix rubs his head in frustration. I shake my head. "Sorry guys, but I already have a project I'm working on. I was planning on working this weekend, but now, I have the time finally." I quickly leave, not letting anyone ask me anything else. Racing to my dorm, I make sure that my diary and the miracle box are safely locked and hidden away where no one can find them. I then pay attention to the dress. It's a dress my great uncle gave to me that was Mother's when she was my age. It's old fashioned and in need of repairs, but I plan on fixing it up. I quickly decide to change out of the formal clothes to get more comfortable. 

Instead of the pink and black suit, I put on a warm ivory sweater, black coat, red infinity scarf, navy jeans, red gloves, and black winter boots. Putting my hair in a messy bun, I get started on preparing to leave the school for the day. I wanna head to the Eiffel Tower, since I often get my best ideas from sitting outside near it at my little spot. Grabbing a spare cookie from the dining hall, I rush off into the cold air. My breath makes little puffs of smoke in the air as I run, but there isn't any snow yet. 

Sitting down in my little hideaway, I look in frustration at the several designs I had drawn out, all of them seemingly terrible in my eyes. For some reason, all I can see are the flaws. All I notice is the mistakes, the miscalculations, the issues. Groaning, I stuff the sketchbook back into my purse, and look around. No one is here, and since no one is around, I allow myself this brief moment to let any emotion cross my face. I feel my mental walls break down, letting the tears of pent up frustrations, anger, betrayal, stress, worry, and insecurities pour out of my eyes. 

Covering my face with my hands, I cry out all of my hidden pain, because it's the only thing I can do as Ladybug. 

I can never allow myself to become akumatized. 

Because if I did...

Then we could lose to Hawkmoth, permanently. 

I will not let him be satisfied in this way after all the attacks, all the problems he has cause the civilians of Paris. These people have suffered so much under the wrath of Hawkmoth. MY people. When I accepted the role of Ladybug, I made a vow to protect my people. I used to think of just my family and friends as my people, but now, I think of my people as all the humans in Paris. Even if I don't know them personally, someone in this city does, which means that they are meaningful to someone here. We are all connected in that way. I have become dependent upon that connection over the years of defending this city. 

"Are you alright Marinette?" Looking up, I'm startled to find Allegra. I thought for sure that I was alone here. I furiously wipe the tears on my face, but it's too late. She's seen them. I nod, sighing. "Yes, I'm fine. S-sorry. I-I didn't know th-that you were here." She smiles, nodding and sitting down next to me. 

"It's interesting. Back in the UK, everything appears to be the same after living there for so long. Here, it seems throughout the seasons, it always will look like a brand new city to me. Even after living her for three bloody years!" I laugh. Allegra isn't asking about the tears. She isn't pushing me to talk about my problems or break down my walls. I find myself so grateful, because she is embracing my mental defenses. She knows they're there, but she isn't going to bring them up. She proved this by changing the subject without questioning. I feel my heavy emotions lighten as we chat, getting to know one another's likes, dislikes, preferences, about everything and nothing. 

And to my delight...

Not once does she bring up the topic of the tears she found me in.