In Between The Lines| BOOK #2 IN THE PSU SERIES

eight

Yesterday, I was having a really tough time.

I went to eat by myself in public to make myself more comfortable. If everyone else was around me eating, then I would feel so much better. I would feel like I had to eat. But that wasn't the case.

I was halfway through with my bagel—no cream cheese. Cream cheese was dairy which meant extra calories that I didn't have room for at the moment. I was halfway through the top half of my bagel when he approached me.

"Is this seat taken?" Caden's shadow loomed over me. I gripped my phone screen extra tightly to the point of breaking. My breathing was shallow, my palms sweaty, I shook my head. "Nope, go ahead and have a seat." Maybe this was good.

Maybe he was here to tell me that he missed me and that he wanted me back.

He sat down in the chair, long legs sprawled around him on the pavement. "How have you been?" He asks almost like a shot to the chest. How have I been since you cheated on me?

How had I been since I relapsed?

I cleared my throat. I needed to fake it until I made it: until he would want me back. Until he would realize what he had been missing had been in front of him this entire time. She wasn't the one for him, I was damnit.

"I've been good actually, really good." I offered him a smile as he nodded. That's when he pointed at the bagel. "You're eating," He pointed out as I shrugged. "Trying," I admit.

And that's why it hurt so bad to even bear the idea of him breaking my heart. He knew everything, every little dirty secret of mine because I was his.

"How are you? Actually?" He pressured me within his question. I bit my lip, setting my phone down to my side. He didn't deserve to know how I was doing, but if I was going to tell him I better lie to him and make sure it's a hell of a lot better than what he thinks.

"I'm good. I've met my weight goal. I'm focusing on my grades, I'm working super hard." I smiled at him. The funny thing about smiles is that everyone wore a different one, so you really couldn't tell when someone was faking it.

"You're looking like your old self again!" He points out enthusiastically.

Yeah, the old self that he made me lose because he made me feel like I wasn't enough.

"Feel like it too," I smiled as he cleared his throat nodding. "Listen, Sloane. I don't want things to be awkward between us. I just want us to be friends right now, I don't want bad blood. I don't hate you—I never could." Yeah well, how could you hate me? I didn't give you a reason to hate me.

I didn't give him a reason to think I wasn't good enough either but apparently there were many.

But then my mind hovers over the words 'just want to be friends right now'—does that mean he will be coming back soon? I hope it does. I haven't felt okay since he left but apparently, he's felt fucking great.

But since he still wants us in each other's lives that means he misses me, or some part of me. That's such a good sign.

I chuckle, nodding. "Yes. Friends, no bad blood." He offers me a smile before standing up. "Good. I can't wait, we'll have to get coffee sometime or be pong partners. I'm going to grab a coffee before class, but we'll talk later. Okay?" I nod at his words.

I watch as he walks away from me towards Starbucks.

And now that brings me to seventeen hours later.

I was standing outside of the house I snuck out of many times for two boys that didn't deserve my time. My cuticles were bloody, the air was cold against my body. He wanted me to be here at six in the morning sharp—well here I was.