Wherever You Are

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Elise was walking around waiting for a cab. She felt devoid of any purpose. Ever since she had started working in Kell co. She had felt a sense of belonging in the world that belonged go Javier Kellen but no she felt like an inmate object floating around in space with no purpose and direction.

She missed Riley. Since she started working there wasn't more than two days when she wouldn't see him. She had become accustomed to his presence in her life. For her, he was her unborn child that god had suddenly rewarded her with for all her patience and misery that she had suffered. But then just with the speed of a lightening he too was snatched away from him. She missed him. She missed him like a sick person misses greasy and oily food when the doctor had prohibited them. She missed him like he was her only lifeline. She missed him like he was her next breathe. But missing him didn't make her feel guilty.

She felt guilty because she was missing someone else too. Someone with brown chocolatey eyes. And she was angry with herself for this. It was like she was doing wrong to herself by missing a person who called her name and didn't trust her enough to listen to her reasoning. He should have known that she must have a reason to do what he did. Had she ever done anything to make him doubt her loyalty?

But he told you about Riley, thats bigger than a business deal for him. Her conscious whispered in her head.

Her conscious was talking a lot these days. Maybe because she was overthinking these days but whatever the reason was, she didn't like the voice of her conscience. It confused her. It made her go around in loop. When she would think how wrong he was, her conscience tried to show her his point of view and asked her to understand. But when she tried to understand his side, her conscience pointed that no matter what he didn't have a right to behave like that.

Was the outer world not enough to torment the poor creature that her inner self decided to do it too? Had the universe conspired against her now?

She was so busy in her thoughts that she didn't notice her phone ringing until very last. She picked up to see Javier's name pop on the screen. Why hadn't she deleted the number yet?

Maybe because you were waiting for him to call and apologize?

She felt angry when she saw his name and left the phone ringing. Now, he realised she was right? What made him see that? The news came out perhaps. She would have felt honoured if he had trusted her in the first place but to be honest, why would he? She was just an employee. Ex-employee now.

Just laughing and making a few jokes with her didn't make him like her. He perhaps never even thought of her as a friend. The thought broke her heart.
Did he also consider her as a temporary nanny to Riley? Was he so blind to see that she truly loved the kid?

The phone rang again but she still didn't answer it. She wanted to. She had craved his voice, his presence even his bossy nature. But right now, she placed her self respect over her emotions. She liked him but valued her self respect more.

The call fell silent in her hand and she looked waiting for him to call again.

Will he give up after a second try? Maybe he really didn't care for her enough. She sighed as she felt something break inside her chest.

But then, her message tone rang and she looked down curiously at what it was. She hoped to see a sorry or something of that sort from Javier but his text instead made the blood leave her face.

She felt like a horrible person.

Was this why god took away her baby? Was she so conceited to put her pride over her child? Riley might not have been her child in reality but in her heart he was and she was not going to tell anyone that.