How The Love Grew

❁52:Numb❁

Jimin was sitting on his bed, hugging his legs with his head resting on his knees. It was midnight but sleep was no where to be found in his eyes.

It was because he was overthinking about his life, once again. To be honest, his life had been like a roller coaster ride lately. He was getting punched with small happiness just to prepare him for facing huge misery.

Just this morning, he was feeling sorry for God knows what when he created some new cuts that were still lingering on his wrist. During car ride this morning, he got into an argument with Jungkook, where he cried again. In evening, he got a great bike ride that he didn't even asked for. And now, he was sad again because of the fanmeet. Too much for this small boy to hold on for a single day. Felt like a burden on his shoulders which he wanted to take off but didn't know how to.

He sighed as he stared at the empty space in his room. He wasn't sad or happy. He was feeling no emotions right now. And that was the problem. He wanted to feel something, anything. Even if it's pain. But he felt numb. He felt empty inside.

Then suddenly, a thought came to his mind. Maybe, a cut could help him feel. Maybe it could ease the burden on his shoulders and would help him to feel something.

However, he stood up. He's not going to cut himself again. He just did this morning and his wrist was already filled with previous wounds. He couldn't break a promise twice.

Exiting his room, he walked towards Tae's room. He knew that at this time, Tae could help him. He might comfort the boy or make him feel that he's of some worth. However, as soon as his hands held the door knob of Tae's room, a voice inside of him said.

So now you are going to bother Taehyung?

He quickly let go of the door knob, feeling hesitant.

Why did you stop? Go wake him up in the middle of the night just so that he could solve your life problems. That's what you always do. You always bother others with your problems. So selfish tsk tsk.

The voice said as Jimin turned around and went back to his room silently before closing the door but not locking it. He sat on the floor as he rested his head on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

Don't you think you need to punish yourself? You are the cause of someone's misery. Your father's misery.

The voice said again as Jimin shook his head. He couldn't break the promise.

Oh come on. You have already broken the promise. Just break it once again. Why are you thinking so much? Just punish yourself for breaking the promise too. Just do it.

The voice said again as Jimin felt uneasy with it. He stood up and walked towards his closet before taking out a blade that he had hidden. He went back to his place as he sighed. It wasn't like he was doing it to please himself. It was more like he was following someone's command. It was just him fighting against his own self and he know he was severely losing in this fight each day. Each passing day was just making it even more worse. He put the blade on his wrist but before he could make any cut, that same voice said once again.

For how long are you going to do this? Forever?

The voice spoke up.

Why don't you just finish it at once? You are such a coward. If you are actually guilty for everything that you have done so far then just do it.

Jimin bit his lips.

Your father is in misery because of you. You can't even be a good son to start with. You can't even fulfill the last wish of your mother because you were so busy enjoying your life. You are just a burden to everyone. If you have to cut then cut directly on nerves. If you are really tired of this then finish this suffering forever.

Jimin's mind was playing with him. He couldn't think straight. But then he thought that he couldn't do this. If he would do something like this then other members would be very devastated and that would be because of him too.

Oh really? You think that they'll even care? You think that anyone will even care. I can bet that they'll just take some minutes to move on from you. And it's not because they aren't good but because you aren't good. Didn't you hear what that girl from the fanmeet said? You are not good enough, Jimin. No body wants a worthless person like you.

Jimin was so done. He wasn't even crying on thinking this all. He had been hurting so much lately that now, everything seemed to have no effect on him. But deep down, he wanted to cry. However, he didn't know what was stopping him.

He raised his hand towards his wrist to make a new cut but this time, it was different. It wasn't on random places but directly on nerves. He had made his mind to end his suffering for once and all. He was tired of this. Tired of everything.

He shutted his eyes closed, ready to form a very deep wound that might end all of his life problems at once. However, just the moment when he was about to run it over, a pair of hands held his both wrists very tightly to stop his action.

He flinched as he opened his eyes, scared to look up at the person. And when he did, his eyes widened.

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
Have you ever felt like this in your life? Not happy. Not sad. Just numb, like you are empty inside.

Hope y'all like the chapter. Please vote and comment.

Next chapter will be published soon.

Till then, peace out. (◕‿-)