More Than Friends. (A Harry Styles Love Story)

Chapter 20.

I'm in love. I'm hopelessly and insanely in love. I'm in love with a person I don't want to be in love with. I've fallen so hard. I've fallen so hard that he is all I think about. I'm in love with someone I shouldn't. I'm in love with someone I can't be. He doesn't love me back. I need him to love me back. I need him. I want him. I have to have him. He is the other half of me. The worst part is that he is the Harry Styles. I'm in love with someone famous. It's not even a fangirl crush. No. It's the real love. The love that everyone constantly searches for. I had him. But not anymore. I'm broken. I'm hopelessly in love with a boy who doesn't want to love me back.

Over the past three weeks of crying, screaming, eating, crying, sitting and thinking I came to the realization that I needed to go back to the modeling agency because I had forgotten to get in touch with them. Yes, I did say screaming, let's just say anger got the best of me at times. So here I am, walking down the street towards the agency. Trying to move on with my life. 

Walking into the agency I walked up to Molly the receptionist. 

"Hey Molly! It's been so long! I came for a shoot with Jen!" I said happily.

"Hey Sarah, sure 20th level!" She smiled then went back to talking on the phone. The huge reception echoed the sound of my heels clicking on the floor. I wasn't nervous. Which was surprising, I was always nervous. The mirrored walls of the elevator reflected my appearance to me, causing my insecurities to show. I quickly snapped back into my thoughts as I heard the elevator ding and the doors open. I stepped out onto the plush purple carpet. The white walls making everything seem fancy. I walked straight up the hall to the waiting/viewing room. I walked in to see a Jen come straight up to me.

"Sarah! It's so great to see you back! You ready?" She asked walking with me to the dressing room. I simply just nodded and followed her into the dressing room. Ten minutes later and I had a simple blue dress with a pair of Lita ankle boots on. My hair was down in loose curls. I walked into the room with all the camera's and photographers in it to find a black paino like the one at my house sitting in the middle of the room. I was instructed to lay down on the piano on my belly with my legs crossed in the air and my chin resting on my hands.

Jenny took about thirty pictures with me in different poses. It was extremely simple and actually quite fun as they kept on making me laugh. They then made me sit an actually play and sing the piano. I sat down on the black leather seat and ran my fingers over the keys. I took a deep breath and let the lyrics flow from my mouth and the music from my fingertips with ease.

"I stare my reflection in the mirror, why am i doing this to myself, losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf, no, no, no, don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars, seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, it's ok not to be ok, sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart, tears don't mean your losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are" -Who you are, Jessie J.

I finished and smiled to myself. I had everyone clapping. I just laughed and stood up to go grab my bag. I was allowed to keep the clothes I wore in photo shoots so I just kept my outfit on. 

"Amazing Sarah!" Jenny said to me.

"Loved it Sar" Millie said hugging me.

I got more comments like that. When eventually I was allowed to leave I walked out the door to the viewing room. I quickly walked down the hall to the elevator pressing the down button. The elevator doors opened and I quickly got in. When finally the elevator got down to the ground floor I smiled to Molly and gave her a wave. I walked the streets smiling to myself about my achievement. I was walking the concrete footpath of my street and watching the kids in the park when I walked into someone or a group of people. I felt my body smash down onto the concrete.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" I heard an Irish accent say. It wasn't just any accent. Niall.

"Yeah, um fine, uh bye" I stuttered out pulling myself of the ground and not looking up at them. I didn't even give them time to reply as I started walking away.

"Sarah" I heard his voice say. Tears instantly rushed down my cheeks as I stopped. Questioning myself whether to turn around or not. I was too scared to turn around so I just stood there.

"Why are you here?" I said just loud enough for them to hear.

"I live here remember." He said back.

"I know that. I mean why exactly are you here?" I said back with a monotonous tone of voice,

"I am here to see my family, to have a CD signing and to show my girlfriend my hometown" He said back. His last words tearing me apart.

"Ok" I said starting to walk away.

"Ok? I just said I had a girlfriend and all you say is ok?" He yelled causing me to stop and turn and walk back to him. 

"What do you want me to say Harry?" I spat in his face.

"What you thought when I said I have a girlfriend" he said with an emotionless face.

"I thought that I must of been the worst girlfriend ever, that I meant nothing to you, that I must not of been pretty enough, that I must not of been good enough, that she better make you happy, that she better be better than me, that I hope she makes you happier than I ever could of, I honestly just hope she is worth it." I said looking down to the ground, tears running down my face.

"Worth what?" he whispered.

"Worth breaking my heart and tearing me apart. Worth killing me for" I whispered and turned away, leaving him standing there.

"No Sarah" He called after me.

"I can't live without you Harry" I called back. I turned to look at him. I smiled and turned my back on him.

"Please don't!" he yelled.

"Why? You don't love me. You don't need me. You have a perfect girlfriend now. Why? Because I will never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for my best friend. My best friend. Once only a friend, always only a friend. We obviously shouldn't be any more than that, best friends. I'm sorry Harry" I called back turning to watch him. The five boys and five girls were standing there all staring at me.

"Please Sarah" Harry called.

"I can't have you chasing me anymore" I called.

"But I love you!" He called in all seriousness. 

"But we aren't meant to be" I yelled back to him.

"Don't kill yourself, just please, don't!" he said pleading with me.

"The pain is killing me, I can't promise you anything" I paused. "I love you Harry Styles, you will always be the little boy who stole my heart, the boys who meant the world the world to me, the little boy I always thought I would marry. I love you Harry Styles you will always be my best friend" I called and turned and walked away wondering if he cared enough to stop me or at least to fight for me.