my indian lover man

chapter vxgdujdbdheos

the room was pitch black. nobody spoke in anticipation of what would happen. suddenly a light focused on the red curtain forming a shadowed circle upon it. the fabric was pulled back and indian lover man popped up. he bowed multiple times to the invisible audience with a flashing grin. he brought out a mic, again probably from his ass, and tapped it twice.

"you are probably confused!" he winked. he brought out a small remote and clicked a button. a television screen panned down from above and sizzled black and white from static. he clicked another button and the crowd gasped at what they saw.

a police officer had his face squished inward and his body was in a C shape falling backwards. a foot was kicking the squished side of his face, a foot belonging to jungkook.

the boy had a fluffy bunny mask on with his face contoured into a screaming motion. one leg was bent, knee to chest as he attacked. his hands were flat and swinging back.

"do you see this?" indian lover man asked, pointing at the paused screen, "this is my best buddy jungkook about fifteen hours before he was arrested! shall we watch?"
the fake crowd cheered with excitement and indian lover man flashed a smile and swayed his waist. his waist was quite striking and shined by the bedazzlement of his belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"jungkook! why in the world did you get my boyfriend into your weed cult?"
jungkook scoffed and put a crown of weed on hayden's head, "it isn't a cult, it's a lifestyle."

"hayden, take that stupid thing off," indian lover man groaned, smacking it away.
hayden kicked his shins, "stop it innie!"
indian lover man gasped. he stepped back in shock.
"our roles are switched! why did i tell you to take it off when usually i'm encouraging you to wear it with me! what alternate universe did i wake up in!"

"don't be ridiculous, you aborted cow foetus. i am trying to let loose but your dumb ass is clogging my brain with your stupidity."
indian lover man squealed and hugged hayden excitedly, "you are my precious candy apple!"
"what the fuck?" hayden gagged, "that is school education for you."

indian lover man held his hand tightly, "let's go scuba diving together and fish for seaweed! we are going to have eight children and sixty three cat-"
hayden sent him a hard stare and tapped his foot in annoyance, "what?"
"let me finish! sixty three cats that get kicked out by sixty three dogs, haha.."

hoseok barged in huffing and puffing, "hide your weed!"
"i thought you were still segging up that fish in your underwater hotel. anyway, why?" jungkook asked.
"the police are here!"
"alright, gathering the kids!" namjoon yelled with jimin and taehyung on either side of his body trying to rip eachothers' hair out.

"if you keep fighting, i will stop running, turn around, and give you to the police!"
the two abruptly stopped attacking eachother. namjoon let seokjin ride on his back and ran for the exit.
alyssa came out from nowhere and reached out for namjoon's leg, "take me with you!"
"i don't want your girl scout cookies!" namjoon yelled kicking his leg away.

indian lover man pushed hayden towards the exit, "i got this, run!"
hayden teared up, "b-but-"
indian lover man turned around and wiped his salty tears, "it's okay."
hayden sniffled, "oh, i'm alright if you die, but like i paid a lot for that shirt you are wearing and if it stains. i'm not sure i'll ever forgive myself for trusting you to wear it."
"it's okay- wait what?"

suddenly the door bursted open and police men flooded in. indian lover man threw hayden at the door and the boy left, dragging a 'dying' hoseok with him.

"let's do this, jungkook."
"put your hands up!" yelled the police.
jungkook put on a fluffy bunny mask before throwing a similar one to indian lover man.
"you're not my dad!" jungkook yelled, running forward.

the man was taken aback by this but quickly regained his posture, "i said hands up!"
jungkook stopped and looked at indian lover man, "you know what to do."
indian lover man nodded and pulled out a stereo, yes again probably from his ass. he clicked on a button and hannah montana started playing.

"SO I PUT MY HANDS UP. THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG!" indian lover man sung.

while jungkook heroically started beating up police officers, indian lover man was vibin'. indian lover man and a couple of officers began dancing along to the fantastic music.

"PARTY IN THE USA! YEAAAAAAHHHH THERES A PARTY IN THE USA!"

jungkook showed off his his super cool three sixty kick to the police officer's face. the officer dodged it and tasered jungkook. the boy fell down in convulsions and then stilled. the officer bent down next to him to check his pulse.

suddenly jungkook turned around and smiled, "gotcha bitch!"
the officer screamed as a carrot was shoved up his nose.

"indian lover man, get the weed and run!" jungkook screamed. indian lover man let the radio blast and and dodged any policemen who were left. he picked up as much weed as he could and took off for the door. out of the corner of his eye though, he saw jungkook being pushed to the ground.

"no jungkook!"
jungkook looked up as he was getting cuffed, "run! i'll see you on the other side!"
"no!"
suddenly adele began to play from the stereo, "so HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIDE!"

indian lover man pushed against the exit taking one more look at felix and putting his hand to his forehead in salute.
"you have great music taste. i will see you later, twin!"

"i will be waiting!"

and with that, indian lover man left the building.