In My Dreams

Chapter Thirty-One

Ada

Its Saturday morning at last. I've finally made it through another weekend unscathed but that's because I haven't left my bed in all that time. I called Richard and told him I needed some more time at home just because I couldn't go into work with a massive shiner. All week I haven't answered Jaxon's phone calls nor have I replied to any of his text messages. I feel empty. Numb from all my emotions that have finally caught up with me that I never tried fighting. Its like a void. A dark void. A never-ending dark void that consumes everything, so I'm feeling nothing. Empty. I'm mad at the world, I am mad at people who walk around this earth each day and pretend that everything is okay, when it's not. Why can't we all just admit that we are just hollow plastic dolls with painted happy faces.
I reach for my phone to check the time. It's 8.32am and the sun is beating through the curtains in my room. It's been raining the last couple of days so to see the sky is full of blue sky and the air looking crisp it is actually inviting to me. Maybe I will leave my place of self-pity and do something for me today. Something that I will enjoy for myself. I fancy some retail therapy and I decide this because I have new hair, why not new clothes and a new style.
"Good morning everyone." I sing as I enter the kitchen. My mum and dad are sitting at the breakfast table gawking at me as I walk through.
"Who are you and what have you done with Ada?" My mum quips with curiosity as she pushes out a stool for me with her foot.
My mum always puts out a spread for breakfast. There are cereals, freshly cut fruit and hot cross buns which makes my stomach growl at the sight. I take a plate and I butter myself a hot cross bun while pouring out some tea from the tea pot. "Has anyone heard from Mason?" I wondered taking bite of the sweet hot cross bun.
"He called last night asking how everyone was. He and Gemma are working really hard. He couldn't talk for long. He said they had some drinks thing they needed to attend." My mum answers.
Maybe I will give Gemma a text later to see how she's getting on. I'm aware I haven't been in contact and have neglected our friendship but I wonder if she would want to know what's happened between Jaxon and I being that we are officially broken up.
My dad pulls off his reading glasses and sets down his iPad. "How comes you are in such a good mood? You've been locked up in your bedroom since you've been here."
"I don't know, I just woke up feeling like it, don't knock it." I cheerfully put, shrugging my shoulders.
"Have you spoken with Jaxon yet?" My mum asks.
And just like that, something so beautiful to talk about is something that saddens me to the cor.
"No mum and I won't be talking to him either." I put straight as she frowns at me.
"But why? Why can't you just speak to him and sort things out" She blurts looking confused and screwing her face up just as if it's that easily to just 'sort out'.
"Because mother, he is with someone else. Now that we've got that out the way, does that answer your question?" I exclaim. "As much as I love our little conversations, I'm going to get myself ready and go shopping." I say leaving with a smile.
I run myself a shower where I wash my hair, I even have the extra energy to shave my legs. I clean my teeth and inspect the bruise under my eye. It's starting to look like a dull yellowish colour, which is good. It means it's almost healed but not nearly enough where I can get away without covering it over with makeup.
I dry and straighten my hair and curl under my bangs. I put on some tight black skinny jeans and a cropped pink jumper and thinking of finishing the outfit with my Dr martens. I apply a full face of makeup coating my eye in layers upon layers of concealer so the bruise is no longer visible.
I look myself over in the full-length mirror, which reveals all my lies and secrets. Even I'm amazed with how different I look. I grab my long black wool cardigan from my wardrobe and I make my way down the stairs, skipping as I leave.
I play my music loudly in the car, driving down the Motorway enjoying my own company for a change, belting out the tunes to nineties R'n'b. Music today definitely doesn't sound as cool as this anymore. As I park up in the multi-storey car park and get out the car, my phone pings in my bag.