I Don't Wanna Live Like A Broken Record (Oli Sykes)

Chapter 3

** Oli's P.O.V. **

I was sitting alone in the cafeteria. I didn't really mind it since I was always alone. The only times there would be people around me would be to bully me. I blasted my Suicide Silence in my ears and opened my notebook. I opened it to the last page I written in. I decided to continue it. It was a song I was writing. When I'm alone I prefer to listen to music, write some songs, practice my vocal chords or watch some movie or TV show. However, I loved writing the most. Suddenly I saw someone next to me. I looked up and saw that girl that I gave a middle finger to this morning. Why the fuck is she here? Is it so she can insult me or something? I took a better look of her now. She had long wavy brown hair and brown eyes. She was wearing a black tank top and had a lot of bracelets on her left arm. She had some makeup on however not that much. I had to admit she was pretty. I took off my hoodie and then my earphones so I could hear what she was going to say.

"Hi, I'm Katherine." She told me. Was she really trying to have a conversation with me?

"Why are you here?" I asked her. It seemed like I pissed her off already. However she put on a friendly smile on her face.

"I saw you alone. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to sit with me and the others." She told me pointing to a table behind her. I look to see who she was talking about. It was Luke's table and everybody was staring at me. Was this some kind of dare?

"No, I prefer to stay here... alone." I told her directly. She still sat there.

"So what are you writing?" She asked me. Why was she still there? She was supposed to get my message to fuck off and leave. In a way I would love to be nice to her but I knew I couldn't. I have to act like a dick. There was no way that she would end up liking me. I had to get rid of her fast.

"It's none of your fucking business." I spat at her. She seemed pretty mad now. I can't let her in. She will end up hurting me in the end. I know it. Everybody does. They all say they won't and they are my friend's. However as soon as they have the chance they will betray me. I mean who the fuck wants to be friends with the school loner? I was the guy everybody made fun of. I don't want other people to start making fun of her also just because she hangs out with me.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to be friendly and get to know you a bit." She simply said. Why was she trying so hard? I'm trying to push her away so I don't get attached and she continues to try. I can't let her become my friend. If it happens I know things will go bad and that I will start hoping for things that will never happen.

"Yeah, I saw. I don't want you to. And a matter of fact you are bothering me. Can't you go back to your group of friends and leave me alone now?" I said to her and put on my earphones back on. I could see that she was about to explode. She got up and stormed back to table sitting right next to Luke.

Well, good job Oliver Sykes. You completed your mission. You acted like a total dick and now there is no way that she will ever like you or try to be your friend. You fucked up once again. Just great. You ruined your only chance to have a friend. However I had to. I couldn't get attached to her. She would end up hurting me in some way. Also she seemed so kind and all. I couldn't let her get involved with all my bad shit and problems.

** After School **

I walked towards my house with my music blasting. I kept my hoodie up so that nobody would pay attention to me and hopefully not get any bullies to notice me. I looked at my right and saw her walking. The same girl, Katherine was on the other side and didn't seem to notice me. Well, that's good. I looked back down and walked to my house. I opened the door and saw the television was on. Great. My father was here. I tried to silently walk to my room without him noticing. I was half way there when my stupid shoes made a squeaking sound. My father's head turned right away.

"Oh you're finally here you dick. Go buy me a six-pack and come back really soon. I beat the fuck out of you if you even take a sip of my beer." He yelled. Hurray. I laid my backpack on the table and walked towards him.

"Fine, ok I understand. Can I have the money?" I asked him. He got his wallet and gave me a twenty. I walked again out of the house and closed the door. I walked to the closest grocery store. God, why did always have to happen? He's always fucking drunk. He keeps asking me to go get some more alcohol. At first the grocery man wanted my dad's permission however after two months he just let me go. He understood that I couldn't do anything. Every time he would drink, which was pretty much everyday, he would either go find some random bitch to fuck or he would come to me and hit me. It's so fucking annoying. It's the same thing everyday. I'm always to one to get hurt in the end.

My mother and Tom were able to escape while they could. When my father first started becoming a fucking alcoholic my mother escaped and moved, taking Tom with her. However she decided to leave me here to suffer with my father. After the first week he started hitting me. He doesn't even give a fuck about me; I'm just his punching bag. I entered the store and got the six-pack and went to the cashier and gave him the money. He sighed and gave me the rest.

"I think I should start giving you a special price. You come here too often. I feel bad for you man. From the next time whatever your dad decides to get is half price you can keep that money and five the rest to him and pretend like you paid it full price." The man told me. I gave him a faint smile.

"Thank you Sir." I said and started walking back home with the six-pack in my hands. In a matter of minutes I arrived back home and gave the six-pack and the money to him. I got my backpack and went to my room.

Man, I had enough of this shit. As soon as I become 18 I'm going to run away and find somewhere else to live. This guy is becoming a living hell. I lay on my bed for a few minutes. I took out my IPod and put my music at maximum volume. I hoped that he would leave me alone today and go find a random bitch. I also wish that he would drink too much of it and just die. That's what he deserves. I took out my notebook and decided to continue the song I was writing at lunch. I read the last two verses I put.

Close Your Eyes

Pray for Plagues.

I stared at notebook thinking about what could be the next verses for this song. I got a few verses in my head and I added them to the notebook.

Oh Lord, cleanse this Earth

And bring upon our Doomsday

In a matter of another half an hour I was able to write another few verses and I seemed to like it. I heard the door open and close. Thank god. He chose the random bitch. I got up and knew that I would have the rest of the day to myself. He would most likely come back tomorrow morning after I left for school. I decided to train my vocal chords. I got up and sang the song I just wrote. It tried it a few times until I found some sort of rhythm I liked.

I made myself some hot dogs since I didn't want to spend too much time cooking. I suck at it already so yeah. After I ate I went back to my room, luckily peacefully and blasted Slipknot in my room. I didn't fear my father to come and yell at me about it since he was out having sex with knows who.

I started to think about my first day of school. I had to admit it didn't go that bad. Nobody bullied me today. That's a good start at least. However Katherine. I feel bad for being a piece of shit to her today. She didn't deserve it at all. She was trying to be kind with me and I acted like a total dick. She must hate me already. Well, good job Oli. Mission accomplished. You made that really cute girl hate you in a matter of what? Two minutes? I deserve the Total Dick Head Of The Year Award. There is 0% chance that she will ever say a word to me again. I had to do it. It's for my own good. I had to protect myself and not get soft. I can't make her my friend. Things would only be worse. It's better to have her hate me since the very beginning than to have her hurt me after making me think she could have truly been my friend.