☆ yellow ☆ (zukka AU)

chapter 26

zuko's POV

even if it's already been a few hours since the conversation i had with my father, it's still the only thing in my mind and i can't sleep. it's the middle of the night, sokka is hugging me tightly from behind and i'm pretty sure he's asleep, because i've been staring into space for what feels like an eternity.

"you still can't fall asleep, can you?" sokka's raspy voice startles me, breaking my train of thought.

he starts drawing circles on my arm with his index and i turn around so i can face him.

"why does he want to see me, sokka?" i ask as if he's supposed to know how to respond.

i can tell that he wishes he had an answer for me, but he doesn't. his fingers are brushing my hair delicately, spreading it all around the white pillow, and his eyes are fixing me with both concern and care.

"i don't know, baby, but i really don't think you should go" he says. "not after everything he's done to you"

i sigh and i press my palms against my eyes. uncle iroh told me the same thing, but he also said that he supports me regardless of the decision i make.

"what if he regrets it?" i wonder. "what if he can finally accept and love me?"

yes, i'm aware of how stupid i sound for saying that, but the child in me still longs for the fatherly love that he never offered me.

"i find that hard to believe" sokka mutters. "a monster that would burn his own child doesn't seem capable of love"

i know sokka means well, but his mention of that incident makes my heart sting. i reach for my scar, letting myself feel the wrinkly skin and remember the excruciating pain that he inflicted on me.

i don't feel the tear crossing my cheek, until sokka's hand wipes it gently. he leans over and starts kissing all over the left side of my face, tickiling me with his soft lips.

"how are you not grossed out by my scar?" i genuinely ask. "it took me months to even look at it without breaking down, and every time i was touching it, i would get shivers and i'd start crying"

he stares at my face for a few seconds, like he wants to memorise every insignificant detail about it, then he finally answers.

"no part of you could possibly gross me out, dummy" he states and chuckles softly. "i love all of you. no exceptions"

i try to hide my flushed cheeks by burying my face in his shoulder, but he knows me too well, so he pulls me in his arms. i place my head on his chest and hug his waist, while he also wraps his arms strongly around my body.

we sit in silence for a while, my head filled with heavy thoughts, and i don't know if sokka fell asleep or not, but i start talking anyway.

"i think it's weird that he called me exactly today" i mutter.

"how so?" sokka asks in a low voice, with his eyes still closed.

the way he twirls some locks of my hair around his fingers is oddly comforting.

"because-" i pause for a few seconds. "tomorrow marks 10 years since my mother's death"

i still find it hard to mention her, even if it's been so long since i've seen her last, but it's not like i was an infant when she died. i was eight, so i still have some memories of her.

"do you think it's a coincidence? or maybe he has some hidden motives for reaching out to you?" sokka suggests.

"i don't even know what to believe anymore" i whisper surrendered. "but i assume that the only way to find out is by actually meeting him tomorrow"