TMNT Karai's Biggest Regrets

Back in the present

I shook my head and cursed myself. Why did I say that? What was wrong with me?  That day hurt me more than the days I spent with Shredder as his prisoner, More than my mutation, and more than the brain-worms that went through my skull.

It hurt me when I saw my father look so hurt after I said those awful words to him. Worst of all, those were the last words I said to him. I was so ashamed about what I said that I didn't talk to him for months. I wanted to say how sorry I was but I didn't know how to. When the mutanimals told me that Splinter was coming over with the turtles today. I was happy but a little nervous at the same time. That was my chance to apologize and to explain myself but of course...life gets in the way.

Shredder finally found me and attacked. I was barely conscious when my father left to go fight him, I couldn't stop him. now...he's gone and it's all my fault.

I should have listened. Hell, I should have listened from the very beginning when my father first tried to warn me about vengeance! I don't know if he had ever forgiven me for that. I disobeyed him and I brought dishonor to our family when I chose this path. I wanted to make him proud, to show him I was strong but he was probably ashamed and disappointed in me. I was trying to prove to him what I used to try to prove to Shredder.

I will never know what it's like to have a real father. Splinter and I didn't really have a father-daughter relationship. Every time we talked to each other it was always awkward. Neither of us knew what to say to each other. The only time it wasn't awkward was when we were talking in ninja modes. So, we had more of a sensei-student relationship. Like I had with Shredder (Although, Splinter wasn't cruel to me and he treated me with respect).

I wanted to have a father but I was too scared to have that kind of relationship with Splinter. I was scared that he might reject me. To be honest though, I'm not %100 sure that he even wanted me for a daughter. He wanted Miwa, not me. Why would he? After everything I've done? He didn't need me. He had the turtles and he thought of April as his daughter.

"I bet he wished that princess was his daughter instead of me." I mutter sadly to myself before I decide to go to bed. I laid on my bed and closed my eyes. "Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day." I muttered softly.

                                                              ...

"AHHH!!"

My eyes shot open when I heard someone screaming in pain. I got out of bed and tried to figure out where it was coming from. I walked out my door but I wasn't in Shredder's lair anymore I was in some kind of dark cave.

"AHHHH!!!" I heard the screams again and I started to walk faster. The screams became louder and louder. I then found a metal door with a slide opening so I could peek inside. I slid the opening open and took a look.

My eyes went wide. There, lying on the dirty floor...was my father.

I couldn't even recognize him. The once mighty man I once knew. Was laying on the floor bleeding and shaking violently. My blood boils with rage. Who would do this? Not even Shredder could stomach something like this.

"Father?" I whispered trying to get his attention but he didn't seem to hear me. I opened the door and slowly walked inside. I knelt down and looked at him for a few moments, sadly. He was not wearing any clothes so I could see how skinny he was. It looked as though he had not eaten in weeks, I can almost see his rib cage.

I carefully shook him, being careful not to hurt him. "Dad? Can you hear me?" He slowly opened his eyes but when he saw me they widened and he quickly sat up. "Miwa? H-How are you here? You need to leave now!" My father's eyes were filled with fear. I looked at him with worry and confusion.

"Who did this to you?" I demanded. Splinter looked at me with pleading eyes but then he started holding his head in pain. "...p-please...miwa...y-you mu-st..go....before he comes." I got closer and my worry grew even more. "What do you mean? Who's he?!"

Just then I started to hear an evil laugh. I turned around and saw a dark shadowy figure. I turned back to my father but he started vanishing away into darkness. "No!"

The shadowy figure then came closer behind me and my eyes widened when he pointed a sword at me. "You don't belong here, snake."

He snapped his fingers and rats started coming towards me. They crawled all over me. I tried to push them off but there were too many. They began chewing on my skin. "No! Get off of me!" I screamed.

                                                             ...

"No!" I quickly sat up and started panting. I looked around and realized I was back in my room. My hands were shaking a bit. I put them on my chest and took deep slow breaths trying to calm myself.

"It's ok Karai. It was just a dream. Father is fine, he's in a better place now." I whisper.

Just then Shini walked in. "Karai! Are you alright!" She asked worriedly. "I'm fine, I just had...a weird dream."

Shini relaxed, walked over and handed me my phone smiling. "Ok, well...I got good news! The turtles just called. They succeeded! Shredder is finally gone!"

My eyes went wide. I never thought this day would ever come. The day when we're all free from Shredder. I was so relieved. "His death did not go in vain." I muttered as I cried both happy and sadly.

Shini wrapped me in a hug. "From what I heard Splinter was the greatest ninjitsu master of the century and he fought honorably until the very end. Now you and him can both be at peace knowing that Shredder can no longer harm you or your family."

I smiled and wiped my eyes. "Thanks Shini." She smiled and bowed her head. "Anytime Harmy-dear." She teased. I frowned and rolled my eyes. "I told you I'm not worthy to be called Harmony anymore!"

Shini rolled her eyes. "Yes you are but have it your way and I didn't call you Harmony I called you Harmy-dear. That has always been my nickname for you ever since we were kids."

I folded my arms. "Well stop." Shini sighed. "Fine, fine but what are the rules on your real name Miwa. Can I call you that sometimes?"

I paused for a moment when I just realized that I will never be called Miwa again, now that my father's gone.

I wanted to have the name that my parents gave to me but I'm not Miwa anymore. I was Harmony and then I was Karai.....and Karai is who I will forever be. Like I told my father...nothing can ever change that. Karai is who I have been for years and I have tried my best to get rid of her but she always comes back. So I have accepted that is who I will be forever. I'm not Oroku, or Hamato, or Miwa, or Harmony.

I'm just Karai...the girl who keeps getting people hurt. "No, only my father could call me that. I'm not Miwa." I finally answered.  Shini shrugged. "Ok. I'm going to go take a shower." After She left I laid back down and put my arm over my head.

"That dream felt so real." I muttered to myself. "But there's no way it could possibly be. Splinter's gone. It wasn't real...it was only a dream."