I've been staying at a hotel for over a week. I haven't left the room, I haven't smoked, and I've barely ate.
My phone has been cut off the whole week, I called off of work, and took time for myself.
After the incident with my dad, Ashanti begged me to come with her to her house, but I just wanted space. I didn't want her to see me at a vulnerable state.
I haven't cried about it, I haven't even addressed my feelings yet. I've just been chilling, taking a mini vacation.
Rising up from the bed I went to the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror and instantly felt bad about myself.
Looking at myself I just looked very drained and tired.
I've never been the insecure type, I've always loved myself and have been comfortable with myself, and my body.
For once in my life, I didn't like the sight of myself.
I shook my head and ran some shower water.
I instantly relaxed, and enjoyed the water.
How am I going to get my shit? I thought.
The day I left I grabbed what I absolutely needed and left.
My apartment was move in ready, I just didn't want to be bothered with anybody at the moment. I didn't want nobody to feel pity for me, interrogate me, or anything else. I didn't want Ashanti to comfort me, I just wanted to be left alone.
I know that my way of thinking isn't healthy, everybody needs a shoulder to lean on, I simply didn't want that shoulder.
☁︎︎ ☁︎︎ ☁︎︎
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