12 | Broken On The Inside

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⁑𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐋⁑

I sat in my office going through old photos on my laptop when I hear a knock at the door, "Ms Johnson?" Anastasia poke's her head through the door, "Hey Ana, come in," She steps into my office.

I gaze down at her outfit, a flowy yellow dress that had small daises scattered all over it, her hair was done half up, half down with loose curls at the bottom.

"You going now?" She had asked me yesterday after I got home if she could leave an hour early today since it was her Dad's birthday, "Yes, Ms John-" I held my hand up, "Ana how many times have I told you, it's Hazel" She gave me a shy smile.

"Yes, Ms Hazel." I rolled my eyes playfully, "No need to come in tomorrow, you can have the day off" I looked back down to my laptop, "Wow! Thank you so much!" Her curls bounced up and down.

"No problem." She turned around getting ready to leave but I quickly got up, "Anastasia before you go I wanna know if you ordered that dress I asked for?" I fiddled with the pen in my hand, "Oh! Yes! It says it'll arrive tomorrow afternoon"

"Great. Tell your Dad I said happy birthday" She waved me goodbye and left. I went back to my laptop, scrolling aimlessly at the photos.

There were a few of me and my Dad, Matthew and me when we were younger...And there is was that photo of me and Roman. I clicked on the photo to enlarge it.

I was sitting on his lap, while his head was buried in the crook of my neck, a smile lit my face and his. We were sitting by the lake, the sunset behind us looked so beautiful.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and land on the space bar key, wiping away the wetness I accidentally pressed another button that took me to a photo of me and my Mum.

We were outside in the garden, sitting on a light pink blanket, Matthew was playing with his toys and Mum was braiding my hair. The picture of her smile was contagious, smiling at the happy memories of us all made my heartache.

Those happy times we all fake, a show my mother put on for us all. I shifted my gaze to the little girl, seeing the broad smile across her face as her Mummy did her hair.

A few years later that little girl was no more.

Broken on the inside instead.

I closed my laptop, stuffing it into my bag, switching all the light off, I closed the door behind me and walked to the elevator. It wasn't time to bring up old memories that I want to forget.

I got to the lobby to see Julian already standing there, waiting for me. "Afternoon, Ms Johnson" He took my bag from me, "Hey Julian." I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.

We walked to my Royce, I got into the back seat and Julian hopped into the driver's seat, he started the car and started to drive me home. I looked out the window watching everyone getting on with there day.

Roaming Canada, walking with there loved ones hand-in-hand, or there mother and father walking there kids to the park. Here was I, trying my hardest to forget the good times in my life.

I felt my eyelids slowly closing, getting heavy, making it hard to keep them open, I thought I'd take a small nap until I arrived home.

⁎❀⁎

"You need to let go, honey," I felt his warm hand cup the side of my face, "How? How can I let you two go? I-I can't" sobs escaped my mouth, "You can, I know you can, I will always be here for you my darling"

"I can't see you going through this pain anymore, it's hurting me" I continued to shake my head, I couldn't let them go, they were too important to me. I can't.

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