"New to this" (Carson X Connor gay fanfic♥️)

Part 43: A box of memories (Connor's POV)

[Connor's POV]
"... I don't know. I loved him, but then I have seen you today. I don't know." And some more tears ran on my face.

"Listen, I know you have moved on, but if being away from me could help you realize what you want, I will let you go!" Case said.

"No, I want you and I want him, too. I can't explain that!"

Case hugged me and kissed me.

"You don't really want me, you want him. Come on, let's be honest. We were just two horny teens getting intimate. Your boyfriend is in California. I can't be him. Our story ended some years ago."

His words left me speechless. He was telling me not to leave Carson.
But what did my heart want? I felt like something was changing. Those moments spent with him made me understand how much I had missed him.
He was my first love, the man I had always desired. But what was Carson then? A distraction? Carson and I were so together, but did I really love him?
Where could our relationship go?
In the last few weeks our relationship hadn't gone beyond the sex. That was all I had wanted from him. I felt like I couldn't give Carson more than just my body. I didn't feel the same attraction he felt towards me. That was the truth. Recently our relationship was just about sex. Our relationship was just like Matt and Christian's and it would have ended like that. That made me sad of course, but that was the best for the both of us. In that moment I realized I only loved Case. I had always loved him.

"Case, you are not the problem. I am. I mean, I haven't been honest to Carson. I have never shown him more than physical love. But today, since I saw you again, I have realized how much I have always wanted you. When I moved to LA, I promised myself to forget you, but now I have understood that it was impossible. I love you, I truly love you."

"Oh, Conn, I don't know what to say. I feel the same. I can't let you go this time."
And he kissed me again.

"Hey, wanna come to me? Having some fun like the old times?" I proposed him.

"Yeah, why not?"

"My grandma would be happy!"

We put our clothes back on and went to my grandparents'home, up to my room.
We played videogames like old times, even if it felt strange. I loved having him around. I loved Case.

I switched off the PS and grabbed a box from my shelf.
"What is that?" Case asked me.

"It's a box of old memories. I wanna show you a thing."

It was a box of things I had collected during the years, when I spent time at my grandparent's home.

"This is the first gift you bought me, do you remember?" I said.

"Yeah, it was a comic. Oh God, you were kinda obsessed with those things!"

"Yeah" I said laughing. Then I added:
"And that, that is the necklace you gave me the first month together."

"Oh, I had totally forgotten it. It's so beautiful. Why don't you wear it again."

I put that necklace on. It was nothing expensive, something he had bought at Zara's, but that gift made me happy when I was fifteen.

"Oh, you are amazing, Connor!" Case told me and then he printed a kiss on my lips.
I showed him how I had kept all the things he had given me.

"I am glad we are back together!" Case spurted out.

"Yeah, me too. Do you think it will work this time?"

"Well, I could move to California. I am trying an acting career. I would have more opportunities there. I can convince my parents. They will let me come with you."

"And I can convince my mother to let you stay at my place. I am always alone there, and the house is really big." I explained.

"Are you sure?"

"Why not? We could do that after summer, so we can see if our relationship works even at distance."
Case kissed me.

"I love you" He told me.

"Do you remember this?" I asked him as I showed him a Polaroid of us. We were at a Luna park.

"We were so young!" He exclaimed. Then he proposed me something:
"Do you wanna go there tonight?"

"Is it still in town?" I asked.

"Yeah. Come on, it will be fun"

"Okay, what time?"

"Like 8?"

"Fine"