Minju found herself hunched over the toilet, throwing up her meals more often. It had essentially become a common occurrence when she wasn't able to skip meals. She got comments on her weight loss, but none of them sounded worried. Instead, they sounded almost proud of her, making comments here and there. Minju knew that she shouldn't take it as a compliment, but that voice in her head told her she had to keep going and she wasn't doing enough.
Her debut music video was recently filmed, but SM decided they wanted to film a choreography version of the song. Her manager accompanied her to visit when she went to visit her brother's music video filming and after a discussion with the company, they decided to pay for half of the cost of the set if Minju was able to film her video there. Bighit agreed, and so she ended up at the No More Dream set with her brother's entire group.
She hadn't met all of them officially before - the only members she was acquainted with were her brother, Hoseok, and Yoongi. The others she had met only briefly in a quick visit with her mom, but other than that she couldn't say she knew them. The set of the music video was hot, Minju quickly finding herself sweating under the bright lights that illuminated the otherwise dark set. She was happy though for this shooting gave her a valid excuse to be around her boyfriend she hadn't seen in over a month, and secretly he was excited too.
His excitement didn't tone down his worry whenever he had seen her. If he thought the last time they were together she had lost a lot of weight, this time she had lost more. Her face, once somewhat round and soft, was a lot sharper and her thighs had all but disappeared. This time he took to pulling Namjoon aside to voice his worry.
They both kept their eyes on Minju who was currently playing a game with a young, doe-eyed Jungkook. When they had first met he wasn't even able to look her in the eyes, but today proved that they were able to quickly bond and become friends. Upon looking at her Namjoon could see what his friend meant. After all, he had grown up with her and she always looked healthy but now she looked just one burst of wind from being knocked over.
When it was BTS turn to film Minju was sitting in a chair, watching behind the cameras as they worked hard to film the boys. Occasionally they would need to do a quick reshoot, but other than those couple of times it seemingly went smooth. She loved watching it, feeling nothing but pride as she watched her brother - a leader of his group. She knew how much blood, sweat, and tears he poured into his work, and now he would finally be getting what he deserved the most.
SM and Bighit agreed on splitting the schedule with BTS filming for the first half and Minju being able to film after lunch. Honestly, she could've shown up way later but she kept to her promise and showed up when they did. In the chair, she was visibly shivering despite the warmth in the room. One of the staff offered her a jacket which she gratefully accepted, pulling the fabric over her shoulders.
"Cut!" The director shouted before instructing the boys to all take a break. The seven of them let out a collective sigh of relief as they moved from the center of the stage to sit down and take a much-needed drink of water. Namjoon, however, had different plans in mind.
"Hey." He approached his sister, snapping her out of whatever world she was in. She jumped before she realized who it was and she visibly relaxed.
"You all look great," she complimented.
Namjoon didn't acknowledge what she said. "We need to talk," he stated before he started making his way to the door that leads outside. Minju let out an audible sigh before she got up out of her chair and followed him outside. She knew exactly where this conversation was going and she didn't want to have it - not now at least.
"Get on with it. I know what you're going to say," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair that the stylists had just finished working on.
Namjoon cut to the chase. "Why are you not eating?" His tone was harsh but empathetic. Typical of him.
"I am-" she started, but he cut her off.
"No, you're not. Listen, Yoongi-hyung told me about what happened when you two went out that time. He told me about how you panicked about having to eat just a couple bites of fruit," He started, and Minju was mentally kicking herself. Then again, she should've expected it eventually. "He's worried about you. He cares about you, and I do too. You're my little sister and I don't want you to see like this."
"Well, technically we were only born a few minutes apart," she joked, hoping to take some of the seriousness out of the air. It didn't work.
"Minnie, I'm serious." Minnie. The nickname had always been called her since they were little kids. His words hurt, but in her mind, she knew she couldn't stop. The thoughts that plagued her mind day and night wouldn't leave her alone no matter what she tried. They followed her like a shadow.
"Can we please have this conversation another time? Not bombarding me when we're both trying to film?" That was all she could say. She couldn't have that conversation there. Not now.
"Fine," he reluctantly agreed. "But, we're still gonna talk about it one way or another."
Great. Namjoon was the last person she had planned on ever letting know and now he knew. She was mad at Yoongi, but she could understand from his point of view. He was only worried.
The lunch break felt like hell. The staff bought them all rice and chicken so it was nothing too fancy. She sat cross-legged on the floor with the rest of BTS who were having a conversation between the bites of the food. Minju stirred around the rice with her chopsticks, desperately not wanting to put any of the food past her lips. Yet she could feel the eyes of her brother watching her through his dark sunglasses so she knew should have to eat some of it. Nothing was holding her back from purging it after.
She ate slowly, taking drinks of water in between bites. Yoongi had sat next to her, no doubt to make sure she at least at something before it was her turn to film. She joined in with the conversation the boys were having, laughing easily with them. Eventually, she got to the point she physically couldn't make herself eat anymore. She tried to push off the sick feeling as long as she could, but it didn't last long.
"I'll be right back," she mumbled, suddenly rising from her spot on the floor. No one batted an eye as she all but ran for the bathroom, unable to take the feeling of the food just sitting in her stomach anymore.
She locked the door and double-checking that it was locked. If someone walked in on her in the middle of it she believes that she would die. Without hesitation, she dropped onto her knees in front of the toilet and it was almost as if her body knew exactly what was coming. She hurriedly pushed two of her fingers in the back of her throat and her body reacted almost instantly, a horrible retching sound coming out of her throat that she prayed wasn't loud enough to hear.
After her third try, it was a success as she managed to vomit back up the small amount of chicken and rice she ate easily thanks to the copious amount of water she drank in between. She did it a couple more times in an attempt to make sure that all of the leftover calories were out of her body. She could've cried right there if it wasn't for the fact she didn't want to ruin the stylist's makeup.
After a minute she flushed the toilet and managed to push her body to her feet. She washed her hands twice, wanting to rid of any evidence that she was just in here forcibly vomiting up the food she had eaten. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and she could just see how awful she looked. Purging always wiped her of her energy but sometimes it was the only way.
"Zelda!"
It was a staff member.
With a sigh, she exited the safe confinement of the bathroom and returned to where everyone else was. She hoped they wouldn't notice despite the fact her entire body was shaking and she looked opposite to how she did before they took off.
Immediately she was sat down in a chair as the stylist worked to quickly redo her hair and any last touches on her makeup. They worked quickly as the set was quickly rearranged to give more room in the center for Minju and the few background dancers that SM had hired for the performances. As the stylists finished she was quickly ushered to the middle of the set, ready to film and she felt less than enthusiastic.
