iv. trainee.

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Adjusting to the strenuous schedule of trainee life was one of the things it took some getting used to. She ended up having to transfer schools to one that was closer so she could go back and forth. After school, they would practice dancing, singing, rapping, and all of the idol etiquette.

   Minju quickly made friends with her fellow trainees, but also soon realized it was gonna get competitive. It was known among them that SM was planning for a new girl group. How many members they didn't know but that didn't stop the few girl trainees that SM had.

   Joohyun, one of the slightly older trainees she had befriended, was one of the trainees selected and Minju was happy for her. Joohyun was one of the first people who introduced themselves to her and even offered to help her. She learned a lot of people were afraid of Joohyun which confused her for Joohyun

   One of the more stressful parts of being a trainee were the evaluations. There you were watched and judged on your dancing, singing, and rapping skills.

   They also strictly monitored your weight, every so often making you step on a scale to record whether you've lost or gained any weight since the last time. Minju hated it. She had never been one to be insecure about her weight, but as she was surrounded by trainees who looked skinnier than her, suddenly her favorite foods weren't as appetizing anymore.

   Many female trainees often stayed late so as to improve their skills and get chosen to debut. Minju often stayed late as she wanted to simply improve. She wanted to be an artist to be proud of. That was why many people saw her in the practice rooms until the early morning hours, barely able to stand on her own two feet as she headed back to the trainee dorms.

   Perhaps not being able to talk to Yoongi was the hardest part. She missed his presence, finding it comforting and feeling safe as long as he was there. These feelings were all too foreign to her as no man had ever made her feel the way he did. All she had was the little stuffed bear he had gifted her with and she treasured it.

   Tonight was one of Minju's many late nights. The music echoed around the almost empty practice room as her body followed the music, her brain so focused on the beats that it ignored the burning pain in her legs. She came to a stop, wiping the sweat off her forehead as she finally sat down.

There wasn't a day when she didn't miss her family. She missed the little things the most — her little fights with Namjoon, helping her mother in the kitchen, having late night talks with her dad, helping and guiding her younger sister. She knew Namjoon was busier than ever preparing for his group's debut and it made her smile for she knew how hard he worked and how much it meant to him.

After looking at the clock she decided it was best to go to bed. After all, she had school and she couldn't risk her school performance dropping. She grabbed the speaker from the floor and turned the light off as she exited, quietly making her way through the building to the room where the female trainees slept.

Half the beds were empty — typical. She knew that they were either practicing or meeting with some of the male trainees. She had been hit on by a couple of male trainees but the hold her heart had of Yoongi, she couldn't do it. It felt wrong for her to lead a person on when her heart was somewhere else.

She hurried as fast as she could to change into her pajamas, the effects of her long hours of practicing setting in. She could feel the grasp of sleep pulling her in before she'd even laid down. In what felt like seconds she ended up falling fast asleep, clutching the soft bear she treasured so much.

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