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8. Lady of the Lake

Xendres

Reviewer- ElysiumKingdom

Cover:

My first thought was that it was very dark. A lot of gloomy colors. But the longer I looked at it, the more I found I liked it. The image chosen speaks, and I feel that it reflects the title quite aptly.

Title:

 It is catchy and ties in with the book almost immediately. It suits the story well.

Blurb:

Short, sweet and mysterious. It trickles fed just enough information to gain my curiosity, but withheld just enough that it acted as an invitation for me to start reading to find out more.

My one suggestion would be to perhaps put a comma after the word beauty as the first time I read it, I was left slightly confused. It took reading it again to realize that 'Making her way to see people of her past' was a follow on from the first bit instead of part of the same breath as famed for her beauty.

Grammar and Punctuation:

In terms of grammar and punctuation, it is one of the cleanest stories I've read in quite a long time.

Grammar wise, there is little to none that seemed out of place. It all seemed to flow together beautifully, almost poetically in places.

Punctuation was very near perfect too. Honestly, it was a pleasure to read. There was an occasional missing comma, or a comma that was placed unnecessarily, but other than that, there really isn't much to say.

The only other thing that I noticed was your dialogue punctuation. You use full stops in places where commas should be.

When it comes to dialogue, if it is an action that immediately follows what is said, a full stop should be the closing punctuation. If a dialogue tag follows it, such as she said/ he asked, or anything along those lines, a comma should be the closing punctuation inside the speech marks.

Plot:

I found it to be brilliantly unique. When you start the prologue, it really paints a vivid picture, and the more I read, the more I loved the feeling of connecting the dots or guessing how things fit or what was going to happen.

When reading the blurb, one thinks how much impact can one figure in the road have? But seeing how that comes about and unfolds, it slowly births the steps into your unique world. The introduction to magic, the sword and its qualities, it's so well done. It feels so natural. There's no info-dumping and it makes retaining the information and following the plot seem effortless.

Character:

From the way each character speaks to the way they think, they're distinctive. The depth and individuality woven into them is intricate, and it pays off.

Bo and Shane in the prologue, the way you wrote their dialogue was brilliant. Their accents were so clearly reflected in them, and I could practically hear them speaking. It was all very southernish to me, and honestly, I had fun reading the way they were written so phonetically.

With Elisia, you can practically feel the superiority from her. Just a quick dance into her thoughts and even without being told who she is, her role, it would have been clear that she was of somebody of importance. And again, with the distinction, the way her thoughts are so differently printed from other characters, it truly allows for you to feel the character.

Overall thoughts:

Overall, it is one of the best-written stories I've read on Wattpad so far.

The descriptions are breathtaking in places, and you show so much in such an easy and fleeting manner. Your vocabulary is amazing, creating a balance between simplicity and complex that is often hard to achieve, and your transitions are graceful.

Any questions, feel free to ask.