Reviewer- everythingbibulous
Reviewed- Destined to be Yours by MerilSarah
On the first chapter instead of saying mature stuff I would instead change it to "mature scenes" make sure you only use one period in your sentences. You don't need two periods for each sentence. Don't keep putting spaces in between the characters quotes. For example, structure it like this: "Hey, how are you doing today?"
You don't need to capitalize alcohol unless it's at the beginning of the sentence.
I feel as if the word jerk isn't a great word to use in a mature book. When I hear the word jerk I think of a high school jock.
Instead of putting the pictures at the end of chapters of the characters or their houses. I would suggest on putting all of that in a chapter before the first chapter. I will say that the characters muses are absolutely stunning and I love their names!
Okay so when you're making the chapter title make sure you capitalize each word! It's more professional that way.
So instead of giving us everyone's life story right away I would recommend you instead have the readers find out more about them as the chapters go on instead of finding it all out in one paragraph. You're adding way too much "..." Those should be used not as often.
Instead of the heart emojis for the dividing in paragraphs and such I would instead go on Pinterest or google and search for paragraph dividers!
When you're writing numbers for example when saying someone is 6 I would instead recommend saying "They're six years old." It just makes it seem more professional.
The main critiques that I would recommend you focus on the most is capitalization, how short you make your sentences, and just expanding your grammar and language a bit more. Overall, I'd say you're doing amazing for this being your first story and I wish you the best of luck <3
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