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3. Beneath the Surface

djwinn
Reviewer- Louise

Cover:

Personally, I find the cover to be pleasing. I like the clearness of it. It's easy to read, and the image ties in well with the title and theme of the book.

Title:

I liked the way it went well with cover, as well as contained a metaphorical undertone to it.

Blurb:

It's simple and informative, and efficiently gives the reader insight into the character, as well as the plot of the story. One could argue that a little more detail wouldn't go amiss, but I find that short and sweet holds its own appeal.

Grammar and punctuation:

In terms of grammar, it was well written and pleasing to read, but there were one or two places where some sentences are awkwardly written. I, personally, feel as though they would have flowed smoother had they been worded slightly differently, or broken up into separate sentences. It wasn't, however, that common of an occurrence.

But it did tie in with the occasional sentence that lacked context. There were only a few sentences that I picked up on that didn't quite fit in, or make complete sense, but that was only due to a missing elaboration, as though most of the complete thought had been written down, but the connector had been left out. Sometimes, it was as simple as one or two words added would have clarified. But regardless, they were still readable, and after rereading the sentence and the one before and after, I was able to understand how it related.

There were quite a few missing commas throughout, and occasionally you did use the wrong tense of a word in a sentence, but as they were not common, it's possible that they were typos.

When it comes to punctuation, it's clear that you have quite a good understanding of it, and in turn, it creates a neat, and easy to read appearance for your work.

I did notice that in places that you tended to double punctuate, which is to say that you would add both a question mark and an exclamation mark after a word. That is unnecessary. It should be either-or, but not both. It has no impact on the sentence itself, and when used obsessively (Not that you, personally, did,) it can create a very untidy look and pull away from the writing itself.

There are times when dialogue punctuation is missing, such as the very first spoken line in the prologue, but again, it's not something that I saw repetitively throughout.

Capital letters. You tend to use capital letters after the use of an ellipsis. Unless the sentence following the ellipsis is a brand-new sentence instead of just a pause and a follow on from the one before the ellipsis, it should be lowercase.

In regards to dialogue punctuation, it is all dependent upon what follows after.

If dialogue is immediately followed by an action, the dialogue punctuation should be a full stop, and the action should start with a capital letter.

But if the dialogue is followed by a dialogue tag, such as 'she said/ he asked' then a comma should be the closing punctuation inside the speech marks, and the dialogue tag should be lowercase, with the exception of names.

Plot:

I found the plot to be interesting. It's got layers to it, if you will. I liked the way that it started off with a small insight to what his childhood was like, and then the first chapter immediately followed on by showing that though a man now, he was still but that insecure child.

The pacing of the story is great, and it helps add to the unravelling of it. The way it's written has both the past and the present living simultaneously, and it was enjoyable to read.

Character:

Norman is an odd character. He draws a conflict of emotions. Sympathy, for starters, as well as slight puzzlement in places. As with the plot, the past and present seem to coexist within him, and you've done an excellent job in showing it. His reactions, almost his personality, they differ from person to person, and I feel that is a great reflection of how damaged he his as a person.

I also enjoyed the switch in viewpoint. Seeing him and his actions from Beatris' viewpoint was also interesting. As well as informative, in regards to both of their personalities.

Overall thoughts:

Overall, I like it. It's a good book, and it has strong emotional pull, which draws readers in.

I found that I especially liked your descriptions and the attention to detail around the characters. The way you describe the encounters between Norman and the people he meets, the details added in, it really builds the scene. Even when a lot of detail wasn't given to the scenery, you managed to get it across in a way that left made it so we were never at a loss of where the character was.

If you have any questions, or are unsure of anything, feel free to ask :)