platonic t.chalamet

xxv

— april 30

"i can't." her words tasted sour as the words left her mouth. she couldn't tell if she wanted to shove it right back into her mouth and swear she never spoke in the first place or not, so she didn't. or really, she couldn't.

  "you-"

  "t, i cant." pushing herself away from timothée, feeling the warmth rush away from her skin, cold air brushing instead. "i can't do this."

  "what?" his voice hitched, but asa took everything inside of her to shut it out, no matter how much it hurt her. "what can't you do?" his hands reached for her, the warmth she was lacking, but she shook her head, taking a step away from him.

  "anything," pulling her hand up to her mouth, which seemingly burned against her touch. "t, i'm leaving."

  "yeah, i know that and that's why i kissed and i told you that i like-"

  "i'm leaving." she reiterated, not wanting to hear that word come out of his mouth. "i'm going to england and i'm staying there for three months."

  "and after you're going-" he paused, the look on his face showing that he is thinking, doing that cute thing asa had always noticed about him. but this time, it only hurt to see him like that. "you're coming home. to me."

  "to everyone else, t." she stopped him, shaking her head. "i can't be with you, i can't do this with you." there was silence that filled the god awful room. asa wanted so bad to escape, but she knew that would just make things worse.

  "you-" his voice filled the silence, filling the room like water, but she didn't want any of it. it would only make things worse.

  "if you and i got together, it would ruin everything." she interrupted again.

  "what is that supposed to mean?" this time it was timothée's turn to take a step back, as asa continued to ramble.

  "we would be goners. if anything were to happen, we would be gone."

  "asa, something has already happened. we kissed. hell, we fucking slept together. do you call that nothing?"

  "i don't want to lose you, timothée." his eyes, once soft, looked glaringly at her, her heart closing at the sight. "i know i'm just going to fuck everyone over, and i don't want to do that with you."

  "you're not even going to try?" he scoffed, running his hand through his hair. "if you weren't even going to try with me asa what was the point? what was the fucking point of it all? to fuck me over? to lead me on?"

  "fuck you, timothée! it was nothing like that." her heart pounded, and she wanted to cry, but her body wasn't letting her, like it knew timothée was there and didn't want him to see.

  "well then, what was the point?"

  "there wasn't one!" she shouted, pulling her hands to her beating face. "timothée, i never, ever, wanted this to happen. i was content where we were, and i-" she paused, licking her lips as she began to pace. "timothée, it just happened and i didn't know what the fuck i was supposed to do." instead of replying, timothée just scoffed, turning to sit down at one of the chairs, mimicking asa as he placed his hands over his face. "i just wanted to be fucking platonic, and it got fucked."

  "what, so you blame this bullshit on me?"

  "no, i never said that." she brought her voice down, feeling everything work against her. "we were supposed to be okay." timothée didn't reply for a while, and asa felt her heart pounding out of her chest.

  "well i'm not." he muttered, abruptly standing up, walking out of the room without another word.

  and then she was alone, alongside the weight of the world balancing the tiny golden oscar on her wrist.

vee !
awe poor babies 🥺🥺

i lowkey based this scene on
lauries proposal to jo, (and
the rejection 😃)
so lowkey imagine tim like
that lol 🥲👎🏻

also sorry this chapters short 🥲
and sorry for the drama, lol,
you guys were sad that drama
was going to show up
i'm with u tho, i do want our
babies to be happy 🥺🥺

anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed so
far, i really kinda like this chapter
(i wrote this on january 27th, lol
idk when it's actually going to get
published tho, lol)

*hehe i'm publishing this on february 23*

all my love,
vee x