LAW OF ATTRACTION (Author's Reco)

ROOM IN HER EYES

"You're really not comfortable, aren't you?"
She asked me while we're buying some of medical requirements for my lab subject.

"What?"
I pretended.

"I'm not blind, Jen. And even if I am, I would sense it."
She told me while checking out the test tubes and surgical equipment.

"I— I am sorry."
I said.

"It's okay. But next time think of it twice. Do not ask me to accompany you on your errands when you just want to make me feel too dirty. I declined helping out Nancy with her broken faucet today just to be with you. I am not making you feel guilty. I am just telling you that it hurts whenever you want to push me away because you're afraid of what people might say. I know you're straight. I am not even courting you anymore, right? What's the problem?"
She said and it made me shut my senses for a while.
I felt guilty.

She got a call and yes, it's Nancy.
"Hi. No, it's okay. Well, if that's good with you to wait for me. Let me fix it. Just put the main switch off for now. Let me handle it later. Do you want something to eat? I'll get it some for you then. Sure, pretty!" Sure, pretty! She talks to her happily over the phone.

Ugh! I don't know why I felt so hurt hearing her talking to Nancy like that.

"What time are we going to be done? I'll bring you home right after this."
She asked nicely but I am still not okay.

What is happening to me? I am like losing my temper.

"You can go now. I can handle myself."
I said not looking at her.

"Jen, I'm sorry. Forgive me. I will wait until you're done."
She said and smiled at me.

"No. Go. I swear, I can do this. I just wanted to be with you because you're always with her at school and this is just the only way that I get to be with you."
I said and she is wondering. You were brave there, Jennie.

"Really? But why do you make me feel the opposite?"
She asked. I looked down and felt a pinch of pain on my chest.

"I'm sorry. Go now, Lis. I swear. I will be okay."
I told her and smiled. I insisted that she must go.

And she did go.

Fuck. Really, Lisa?

I am battling with myself.
Why am I feeling this?
I want her.
I really do!
Or am I just jealous?

Ugh! I'm so confused.

But I want her beside me all the time!

I went home and talked to my parents about what's rumbling in my head.
They listened. They gave me an advice.

"Do you like Lisa?"
Mom asked.

"Wrong question, Hon."
Dad interrupted.

"Do you love her?"
Dad asked and my head slowly tilted up to him and realized one thing.