When I was younger my sister Lyric and my mom would always say I was so confident and didn't care what others thought. My mom would always comment on how I dressed how I wanted and wasn't bothered by what others thought or said. Now I didn't have a phone until the end of sixth grade and used the internet to play games like Animal Jam, MovieStarPlanet, and Webkinz so I wasn't thinking much about clothes, body types, or attractiveness.
I knew I wasn't skinny but I never thought of myself as fat or thought that I looked ugly in anyway even when I was like 12. I was never made fun of or bullied for my weight or looks and was actually somewhat popular in first through third grade.
I wasn't super self-conscious when I was younger but I was quite aware that all of my friends were thinner than I am. I wasn't really bothered by it but certain comments from family really made me start to feel off. I started wearing baggy clothes that obscured my body and it's shape. I told everyone they were comfy and I liked wearing these because other clothes were uncomfortable. Secretly I wore these clothes because I became ashamed of myself and how different my shape was from my friends and didn't want anyone to see.
It's funny how much people believe in the obvious lies that spew out of your mouth.
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Actually I'm Insecure
Non-FictionThe thoughts, feelings, and life experience of a chubby, not conventionally attractive, teenage girl that is probably needs therapy. Some of these get a little dark and deep but before I start I'll put a trigger warning. This is just for me to ramb...
