jungkook imagines; bts

- when i first loved you -

「melancholic fluff」

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the blue skies, the sun shining so brightly in the cold air. you faced him, his eyes closed as he slept so peacefully. you gently kissed his tired eyes before getting out of the bed and to get ready for the day. the day felt so nice and you couldn't help but smile.

the sunrise always felt so romantically heartwarming to you. to wake up with your significant other and see his face in the morning, to you it was amazing.

how could one look so peaceful and beautiful while sleeping?

although you felt so lost with him, he was your safe haven. at times, being his wife felt like a disaster, if you were being honest. you'd have to endure the pain of his absence often, you have to endure the heart wrenching words that left his mouth, which he always regrets.

being a young and married woman was tough. marriage wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but instead, full of unresolved problems and silence with a little less loving. you remembered when you first loved him, when you first fell for a man whose personality was far from yours yet matched to the missing piece of your heart.

you remember the days where he'd put so much effort just for you to fall for him. you remember when he'd follow you around like a lost puppy everywhere. you remember to good old days before aging into this strong yet weak woman, who sometimes doubted her own relationships.

you missed the man who is your husband. you missed when he'd tell you the sweet little things that made your heart flutter. you missed the days where you'd always be his first and forever. you missed him.

now you couldn't help but wonder, who is this man right besides you? your heart still beats for him, but you'd often wake up to an empty bed and sleep alone again and again.

you felt like you couldn't recognize the man you loved. you were numb, and you couldn't tell if he was forcing himself to love you now. the way he acted towards you was so different from when you first loved him. the beginning of your milestone was so strong and exciting, whereas now it felt like a job to love each other.

your heart was trying to hold onto the dangling piece to which it no longer felt strong anymore. now these thoughts had bugged you and you were staring at an empty wall, while he's sleeping so peacefully.

from when you first loved him compared now, nothings changed. nothing has really changed for you, except for him. he might be a lot busier nowadays, but that was no exception to treat his significant other so indifferently.

as he woke up from his deep slumber, he immediately bolted out of bed just to find you sitting at the dining table, drinking coffee while spacing out. he wrapped his arms around you, which caught you off guard.

blinking your way back to reality, you noticed the sadness whenever he sighed. the guilt, the regret, the anxiousness, the fear, and hatred he had upon himself was visible. he was quiet, spoke no words and you let him hold onto you for as long as he wanted.

he only buried his face in deeper to your neck as you felt his breath on your skin. you pat his head soothingly in hopes for him to calm down. you could feel something was bothering him.

the man wanted to cry. he wanted to release his pent up emotions so bad but he just couldn't. the immense pressure he had on himself was so unbearable but he managed.

after a few minutes, he decided to let his walls down and all of his emotions came unraveling. you were the one he was most comfortable with. you were the one he felt so easily relaxed with. you were the one who could understand him, even at his worst. when you heard his sobs, all you wanted was to hold him tight and to never let go.

he mumbled apologies within each sob. he felt so guilty that it was eating him alive. you stood up and turned over to face him, returning the embrace he was engulfing you with. he needed someone, but never realized that all he was doing was pushing you away and now he caught you so you wouldn't slip away.

his eyes completely puffy and soaked with tears, you wiped them away and pulled him in for a long and sweet kiss. you longed for his attention, his affection and now you finally see the man you first loved.

when you first loved him, you were just a naive young girl who had her guards up, but you only let them down for the boy who once was head over heels for you, and to this day he still is.

when he first loved you, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his lifetime with you, and you only.

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