2| We Were Talking About Stallions

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I glanced at my plate of toast and fruit with a grimace. I really needed to eat. Ryan ordered room service for me that was delivered at eight this morning. He knew me so well that he knew when I would wake up even in another country. 

But when I woke up to an empty bed and a cryptic note from Ryan that said he was going out for a few hours, I couldn't eat. Ever since we landed in London he's been a little...off. But I couldn't really blame him, could I? 

On a positive note, I was just entering the fourth month of my pregnancy and I was starting to put on some weight. My baby bump was more than obvious and my husband seemed to love it. 

I couldn't count the number of times he looked at me with pride and love in his eyes. There was a welcoming sensation of possessiveness that came off of him when he kissed me now or touched my belly. Some people might not like that kind of thing. But for me, I never really had a real relationship before Ryan. Trust didn't come easy to me, and I had spent most of my life as a 'free spirit'. I finally felt complete with Ryan—like I found the missing half of myself that I had always been looking for. 

He cried when I told him that I was pregnant. Even though we were 'trying', hearing the actual news could have gone either way. If he didn't take it well...I didn't know what I would have done. But that didn't happen and now we were happier than ever. 

But there was still something that had been bothering him lately. I knew that coming to London would stir up some feelings after Everly passed away. He was always so open with me about her. He would tell me stories about him and Jackson growing up. But lately that wasn't the case. 

I push the fruit around my plate with my fork. My right leg was shaking nervously under the table while I waited for Harper to hang up the phone. 

"Yeah. Meet us here at the hotel in an hour. I love you, too." 

"The boys okay?" The question popped out of my mouth before she even sat her phone down. 

My best friend nodded. "Yep. Jackson said they were on the way back now. Why were you so worried?" 

 "I don't know, Harp. Ryan's been off lately." 

Harper took a sip of her espresso and brushed her long blonde hair out of her face. "Well it's the first time he's been in London since Everly passed away. And Jackson texted me that he found Ryan at the cemetery." 

"The cemetery?" I frowned at that. "He told me he was running errands. Why wouldn't he just tell me that? And why not ask me to go with him?" 

Why, why, why...

Jesus. I was going to drive myself crazy with theses questions.

I never used to be the paranoid type. I was never the nagging wife type, either. But deep down I could feel that there was something more going on with Ryan. There was something that was eating at him—a heavy guilt that lit up his eyes when I mentioned Everly. 

"D, you need to relax and stop freaking out. You're in your fourth month of your pregnancy. No added stress, remember?" 

Frustrated with myself and no longer hungry, I pushed my plate away from me. It slid against my bottle of water and nearly knocked it over.

I exhaled a heavy breath and sucked my teeth. "Yeah, I know, Harp. It's just hard not to worry." I rested my hands on my baby bump. "He's just never been like this." 

"Want me to talk to him?"

"Oh, I don't think—"

"Sorry about that dears," Gwen interjected when she rejoined us at the table. "I had to use the loo then I wanted to hurry and phone Noah before JJ gets back." 

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