Asshole

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I can't believe I'm here! I'm seated close to the front of the stage, as is everyone who is nominated for awards tonight. Jon Stewart is hosting, he's so funny. The Backstreet Boys are directly behind me, NSYNC diagonally in front of me. I saw Destiny's Child walk the red carpet earlier when I got here along with JLo and her sexy lowcut emerald green dress. I wish I had the balls to wear something that seductive. I am just wearing a black evening gown, not overly exciting yet still sexy. I wore my dark hair straight with simple makeup and big earrings.

"When are they announcing best new artist?" I whispered to Jessalyn, my drummer. Jess is Latina and is a few years older than I. We've known each other for years, we met on the block back home in Brooklyn.

"I think soon. It's going to be announced right after Eminem performs."

I'm not nervous. I never get nervous, I'm more excited! I have been singing all my life with my friends and bandmates Macy my keyboardist, Queen is our DJ, and Jessalyn on the drums. Of course, I have other backup musicians behind me when I take the stage, but these girls have been with me the whole way. I know Queen from back home too. She's originally from the islands and has a thick Trinidadian accent. Macy was born rich though. She's a white girl with bleach blond hair who went to a private school in Manhattan until she started ditching every day to hang out with us. I finally got a deal last year and life has been fast ever since. If I win tonight, I think I can officially say I "blew up."

The lights went dim and the crowd silenced. Rain splattered on a huge screen and I saw Eminem enter the stage in a blue jumpsuit. Damn, he's fine! I recognized the music to Stan immediately. It is somewhat amusing to hear him properly edit all the cursing. As the chorus approached, a piano came into view with...who is that? Oh shit, it's Elton John! It's crazily ironic because the gay rights groups had been protesting Eminem outside all day saying that his lyrics are homophobic. I was watching it on TV back at in my hotel room earlier in the day. He turned the tables with this one. How brilliant! And the lyrics and story to the song. This man is a fucking genius! I love his music, it's amazing to see him perform.

I suddenly realized my moment had arrived. They were about to announce Best New Artist of 2001. Anxiety came over me. I'm fine with not winning, I mean I'm probably not going to win. It would be cool though if I could take home a Grammy at only 18 years old.

"And the winner is..."

I held my breath and focused my eyes to the ground.

"RayLynn Knight!"

Holy shit! That's me! I stood up smiling and hugged Queen, Jess and Macy and the four of us made our way to the stage. We thanked our families and our production crew. I am so happy; I can't stop smiling. I suddenly felt different. Celebrities were congratulating us and people who I consider to be my idols know my name. What a night! We later performed our hit Rapture and it was perfect! Pure adrenalin!

We got to sit back and enjoy the rest of the show. I cannot wait to record all the new songs I am currently writing. This is addictive and to be recognized amongst my peers gives me the validation I need to keep creating. When the show concluded, we all started making our way to exit. Jess had told us about some parties here in LA. This is my first time in California. I was here once during my summer tour, but this is the first time I've actually been out on the town. We were slowly making our way out of the theatre when I heard someone calling my name.

"RayLynn! Ay, RayLynn Knight!"

I looked over and it was one of Eminem's boys. I think his name is Proof. I felt like I should go over and when I did, they all seemed to really like me.

"Yo, your performance was hot!" Proof told me. "We going to party, you ladies coming wit us?"

I looked around for my girls' approval and then nodded yes with a huge smile.

When we met up with them at the club, it was all hip-hop music, and I noticed a lot of people staring at my entrance. I felt untouchable. I had recognition for being the girl who just won Best New Artist. Somebody handed me a Bacardi and lemonade. I'm underage, but I'm RayLynn Knight. I have a hit debut album, nobody is gonna fuck with me. I went straight to the dance floor to shake my ass in celebration, I loved every song that was played. I'm a good dancer too. Pretty much anything to do with music comes naturally to me. The girls and I bumped to the music for an hour or two and became a tad tipsy while having a phenomenal night of celebration.

"Don't hurt nuthin now, don't hurt nuthin." Proof stood in front of me watching wide eyed which made me laugh.

Eminem stepped to me. He's cute, but he was looking pretty drunk by now. His eyes didn't connect with me, he was spaced out. He struck me as sneaky as he gave me a small smile.

"How you doin?" He asked me quietly.

"Good. I just turned 18 yesterday and today I win a Grammy!" I guess it was stupid, but I was drunk and trying to make conversation.

"Oh yeah? You wanna come back to my room?"

Honestly, it was kinda lame. I rolled my eyes. 

 "Seriously, that's your pickup line?"

"Baby I don't need a pickup line. If you haven't noticed, I'm Eminem."

Ew! He stank so bad of alcohol. This is not how I imagined meeting him would be.

"Well, no, I...I don't want to."

He scoffed and became offended.

"Why do you think you're here?" He raised his voice to me. "Let me explain how this works little girl, you were lucky enough to get invited to the afterparty. It's not to make conversation and play cards."

"I'm sorry, I guess I fucked up." I got louder and glared at him.

"Yeah, I guess you did. You need to go to the party with Britney Spears and NSYNC and all the other corny ass people with no talent. Get out of here rookie!"

"Rookie? You've been in the game, like, a year longer than me." I threw my hand up in his face, "Fuck you!"

"Fuck you! I didn't realize RayLynn Knight was such a bitch."

"Oh, now I'm a bitch? Because I don't want to fuck you? I'm not a groupie, I ain't gonna just give you that shit!" I laughed. "Go pop another pill old man before your dick falls off." I started to walk away. "Sorry I wasted your time, Eminem."

I made my way past him and knew I would never look at him the same again. Such a shame. The guy is so talented and he's fine as hell, but he's a total asshole. I grabbed DJ Queen's arm and told her to find the others because I was ready to leave. I went outside to smoke a cigarette on the curb. This is not how I pictured my celebration night ending.

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