After Everything

Chapter Twenty: Withered Flower

Thunder rolled in the distance as Brittany packed up her homework and prepared to take shelter in her house until the storm passed.

"Brittany," Toby called, walking towards her. She turned around to meet the eyes of her boyfriend. He was clothed in a t-shirt and shorts, sweaty from working on the walkway all evening. "Can we talk?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah, sure."

"Not here," he said, eyeing his father who stood close by. He didn't want him to hear their conversation. It was best if he talked to her in private. Brittany sensed that something was wrong. "Can we go over there?"

She nodded her head as she followed him onto her boat dock. Thunder yet again rolled in the distance as Brittany grew nervous that it would start to rain and mess up her blowout. It made her even more nervous seeing how anxious her boyfriend was acting. He stood apprehensively in front of her, trying to sort through his thoughts before speaking. She feared he came bearing bad news.

He sheepishly ran a hand through his light brown hair once finding a way to start the conversation. "I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now but I never knew how to tell you," he began, breathing heavily as she gulped. The look on his face explained it all. Bad news was coming. "I think it's best if we're just friends."

Brittany would be lying to herself if she said she didn't agree with him. After the way he had been acting towards her those past few weeks, she knew it was best if they stopped dating. The thought of breaking up had passed her mind multiple times but she never dared to go through with it. She thought they were better off as friends because they weren't around each other as often, and didn't feel as if they were connected.

But just because her feelings for the breakup were mutual didn't mean that she wasn't heartbroken. They had been dating for over ten months. She was used to him being her boyfriend. And over the last ten months of being together, they had created many memories together. Memories she would cherish for the rest of her life. She hoped one day she would be lucky enough to tell her children about how much she loved him - as her best friend and as her boyfriend.

"I'm not trying to change you, and I'm not trying to pick apart your flaws either," he continued when she didn't respond. "I just don't think we're on the same page right now. I hate drama and gossip while those are two things you enjoy," he said as she nodded her head, agreeing with him again. "I'm sorry it has to be this way but I just think we're so different. We don't bring out any good in each other. We haven't for a while."

And again, just because she agreed with him didn't mean that she wasn't upset. She felt a lump in her throat as she tried her hardest not to cry in front of him. She didn't want her tears to give off the wrong idea.

"I feel the same way," she said, avoiding looking into his eyes at all costs. She feared she would start balling her eyes out if she did so. She wasn't sure how he was so okay - calmly standing in front of her and not seeming upset. She thought maybe he had been preparing this moment for a while, so it made him appear stronger because he planned for it.

"You've been my best friend since I was seven months old," he said as his words immediately pushed her off the edge. She couldn't help but let the tears flow down her cheeks. "And I would hate to throw our friendship away because we dated. I don't want to not be friends with you, Brittany, because even if we're on two different pages, I still love you."

But his words meant nothing to her. How could they mean anything when she knew there was no chance they could be friends again? If they couldn't be friends after they had sex for the first time two years ago, then they couldn't be friends after they dated for ten and a half months. It was just common logic.

And she didn't think she could ever be strictly friends with Toby, because for as long as she could remember, she had feelings for him.

"Okay," she agreed regardless of how she felt, finally gaining the courage to look into his eyes.

To her, it didn't feel like they were breaking up. It felt like they were saying goodbye to each other forever. They were saying goodbye to their almost seventeen years of friendship. They were saying goodbye to making more memories together. And they were saying goodbye to the once vowed forever friendship. Everything already felt different. Her life with Toby was over.

They weren't family friends. They weren't dating. They were just two people who have history. That was all.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace - but being in his arms didn't feel as they usually did. His once warm and safe embrace now felt cold and forced. It felt like two strangers greeting each other for the first time.

She quickly pulled away, wiping the tears that streamed down her face. It felt like he was dying and this was the last time she would see him - like she was saying goodbye to everything she had ever loved. And in a way, it was actually like that. Their relationship was dead. She was saying goodbye to knowing him as her best friend and her boyfriend, because after she walked away, they would no longer be either of those.

She forced herself to let the dreaded word leave her mouth. "Bye," she said, feeling her heart shatter in her chest.

"No. I still want to be friends, Brittany," he told her as he shook his head. "This isn't goodbye." Maybe their breakup wasn't mutual?

She felt more tears fall from her eyes as she answered him. "Honestly, it feels like that," she said as she turned away. "So... bye, Toby."

She started to walk away, feeling the tears flow down her cheeks like a waterfall. Her vision was clouded with tears as she walked off the boat dock and towards her house.

She passed the pink hydrangeas in the yard that Toby continued to plant per her mother's request. The sight of the flowers instantly brought back the memory of Toby asking her to be his girlfriend and his date to homecoming. She still had the flower he gave her framed in her room - but now a year later, it was withered away. The flower represented their relationship, because they used to be so happy together and now they weren't.

Brittany loved Toby. She always had and felt like she always would. He was the first boy she ever loved. He held a special place in her heart. He meant the world to her, because for the past ten months, he was her entire world.

Once stepping into her house, she pushed past her mother who instantly noticed her tears. She called after her daughter but she wasn't ready to talk about what happened. Her mother peeked out the window to try and get a sense of why she was so upset, but when she saw Toby step off the boat dock as it started to rain, she knew what happened. Her motherly instincts gave her a feeling.

Brittany's bedroom was the safest place for her to be in at the moment. She just needed to be alone and cry. She locked the door behind her as her eyes met the framed withered hydrangea in the picture frame on her dresser. She forcefully pushed the frame to the floor, watching the glass shatter everywhere.

She smiled to herself as the tears continued to fall from her eyes, enjoying the sight of the broken picture. It seemed more fitting to be broken. She didn't want to be reminded of a time when everything in her life was perfect, because now she felt so lost.

She sobbed into her pillow, startling her father who was taking a business call in the office next to her room. She had never felt so heartbroken before, and she had been so self-centered to believe no boy could ever break her heart. She had never experienced the type of pain she was feeling right now. Cheating on her last boyfriend spared her the tears and pain. Breaking up with Toby made her experience a different level of pain. She felt it everywhere. In her heart, her head, her legs, her stomach... it hurt so bad.

Her first heartbreak would go down in history as being the worst day of her life, because not only did she lose the love of her life, but she also lost her best friend.