Before I Go || L.H

4.4

Luke's P.O.V

I put on the black suit and looked in the mirror. My eyes red and puffy with bags under them. I walked to the living room. Everyone wore black and looked terrible. Today would be the last time we'd ever see Selena's face again besides pictures.

"Is everyone ready?" I whispered.

"Derek, and the rest of Selena's relatives are already there waiting for us" Cher told me, her voice dry.

I nodded and we silently walked outside.Somehow after Cher got ahold Derek he got ahold of more of there relatives to come to the funeral. All of them were very heartbroken like us. Derek was a wreck. They imminently drove to Sydney. We found a way to get Selena buried in Australia so her family could see her.

We took separate cars to the Church where we'd say our goodbyes. After that we'd drive to where they'd bury her. Ashton drove following Cher, Niall, Harry, Louis and Zayn. Liam came with us. We arrived at the church and saw everyone waiting outside. Derek, Selena's grandparents, aunt and uncle were the only ones beside us. I walked silently behind everyone and we sat down. The pastor stood in the front. Behind him was the casket opened, Selena laying there peacefully.

"Would you like to say a few things now or before we bury her?" He asked.

"We can say them now" Derek spoke up.

The pastor nodded and Derek stood up. His eyes glossy and puffy. He went to the front and looked at the little group that came to see his sister get buried. He cleared his throat.

"M-My sister Selena... Sh-She was one of the nice people you'd ever meet, after I left for college I didn't see her much and that's something I regret, I wish I could've been there for her more, and now she's gone... I know she had a good seventeen years and made amazing friends and had a long adventure, she loved each and every one of us and now I must be strong for my baby sister...she'd want us all of stay strong" He paused trying not to cry. "I've lost my parents and my sister, they're pain went away... But mine is just beginning, I have to go my whole life without them, so don't be sad, be strong, find someone to help you and to love, you'll need it cause one day they can just be gone..."

Derek sniffed and stayed silent. He turned around and kissed Selena's forehead and walked back to his seat, hugging the family he had left. Cher then stood up and walked up to the front. She was shaking. She turned slightly to look at Selena.

"My name is Cher... I was best friends with Selena since we were younger" Cher whispered." I wasn't always the best friend, but Selena always forgave me and understood... I-I... I wish I could tell her how sorry I was over and over, but now I can't...she was amazing and I will always remember her for the rest of my life, I know she's with the Angels, the ones she always talked about, the ones that she said she'd be with soon... She's happy now with her parents and free from pain and she's watching us from above"

Cher slightly smiled looking at Selena then up. She looked at me and sniffed. She sat down. Before I could stand up Harry did. He went to Selena and pressed a kiss to her head. He said something I couldn't hear. He then turned to everyone.

"I'm Harry, Selena's ex boyfriend" Those words still hurt me." I wasn't the best boyfriend when I was with Selena, I wish I could change how I treated her, but even if I did, she'd still be gone and...she still wouldn't love me back the same" He looked at me then away. "She was always happy even when things weren't the best... She had a good heart, she made everyone happy, now she's making the Angels and her parents happy, she'll sleep peacefully and we'll one day see her again"

He sat down and finally I stood up. I walked to the front and looked at Selena's cold lifeless body. I light touched her hand and kissed her cheek.

"Forever" I whispered.

I turned and looked at everyone. I didn't know exactly what to say. I cleared my throat.

"I-Im Luke, I was... I guess a good-" Cher cut me off.

"She loved you and you know it, don't say friend...you two were way more than that" A tear slid down her cheek.

I sighed.

"I did...I do still love her, I always have and I didn't know it until it was too late. In the beginning I was terrible to her...I bullied her and I regret those things and they'll haunt me forever... I am still shocked that she even forgave me, she did cause she was the kindest person, I wish I could go back and time and fix what I did and have more time with her...she'll always have a large spot in my heart forever that nobody else can fill..."

Silently I sat back down and Calum pulled me into a hug. Selena's grandparents went to the front and said their goodbyes. Everyone eventually finished and we had to leave. I stared at Selena's beautiful face one more time. Trying to keep her image in my head forever. The casket was shut and put inside the vehicle. We followed the car and eventually arrived at the place I'd never picture myself being at for Selena. We walked across the grass to a large hole that Selena would be put in. Tears welled in my eyes.

"We are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to the beloved Selena Marie Gomez" The pastor spoke. "Selena was a very young lady who's life ended too soon, she lost her parents, but now she is with them watching over their beloved family, she will be dearly missed by so many people, now let us pray for her"

Everyone looked down and shut their eyes as the pastor began the prayer. My eyes were shut, but tears still escaped my eyes. All I could think about was our time we had together. Especially when I made a promise to her...but she didn't make a promise to me.

"Hey, why are you crying?" She muttered.

"I just missed you so much and I don't ever want to lose you again" I told her.

I felt like my world was starting to come back into one piece now that she was here. I was so happy.

"I love you Sel, you're my best friend"

She sighed and hugged me tightly.

"Promise me you will never leave me no matter what" She mumbled.

"Of course Sel, I'll never leave you, I could never leave you" I promised her.

She didn't say it back. I should have noticed it, but I didn't. I could've probably got her more help. She could've still been alive if I noticed it. The prayer was finished and they began to lower the casket into the ground. Tears were now streaming down my face. A loud sob escaped my mouth. I broke down and sat on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. I let my cries and tears out. I felt someone rub my back trying to comfort me. Surprisingly it was Harry. I cried more as they began to throw dirt, covering the casket the held the girl I loved in it. She was gone forever, and I'd never see her again.

***

"Luke please get out of bed" My mum's voice pleaded.

One month. That's how long she's been gone. One month since my world was destroyed and changed forever. One month since I quite the tour. I needed a break. One month since I last saw her. I didn't visit her yet. It hurt to much.

"Luke you can't stay in your room forever!" My mum groaned.

I silently cried holding my phone. I looked at pictures of her from England. The times when she was alive and happy. I missed her so much.

~*~*~*~

Still not over I have three more chapters and then this story will be complete!

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I hope you've liked this story. I'll be updating my new story too soon. Check it out if you haven't.

-Aussie_Arses