Soft Boy

Chapter 4

Ethan's POV
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As I woke up and sighed. I was saying goodbye to this house today and hello to a road to LA. As I put my last box in my car I stopped and stared. I was leaving home and who knew when I was going back. I sat in the car for a minute before starting it up and driving out of the drive way. 
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3rd person
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he looked at the time and it was just past 10 so he had time. He drove for a few hours and stopped to call mark letting him know he had started his dive. He drove until about 6 at night and decided to stop and get dinner and then would go and check into the hotel he had booked. If ethan kept going at the rate he was at he would make it to LA in with 5 days, which wasn't to bad, he just wanted to be there. Ethan sighed as he pulled into a small down grabbing something to eat before going back on his way to his hotel. Once he got there he had never been so happy to let his head hit a pillow. He had grabbed his pacifier just to make the night feel as long going. He smiled and slipped it in putting on the first Disney channel he found. He kept himself very amused until mark called him to check in. He had completely forgotten to call him. Ethan quickly took his pacifier out and changed the channel. This was to close of a call for his liking.

"Heyyyyy mark wassup" ethan said trying not to show how akward he felt.

"Hey, just wanted to check in and see how the drive was and all"

"It's not to bad, should be there within a a week" ethan knew he could have been there sooner if ethan didn't fuck up and have Mika find out he was a little. Then they would have taken turns driving and would have gotten there a little quicker.

"That's good, did you eat today?" Ethan couldn't help but smile mark was always looking out for him, making sure that he was eating and drinking.

"Yes, more then once and I've been drinking a lot of water to"

"Good job blue" ethan could feel himself going very tiny due to some of the things mark was saying.

"Well I hear this place has a super sick pool, so I'll talk to you later" ethan lied as he hung up. He didn't go swimming and he knew that he was lying. He was really trying to get mark to shut up so he wouldn't slip but that got fucked up Really quick. He didn't need mark to hear the childish tone in his voice even if he wouldn't Question it because that's just how ethan was he still didn't want to slip on call with mark. Ethan couldn't tell anyone about being a little he seen how that went yesterday. Sighing ethan laid back down slipping his paci back in and put cartoons on. Ethan started feeling sad. He wished he had a caregiver. He missed Mika. Even if she didn't know he was a little when ethan was in little space he would just cuddle up to her. He wanted to be held and loved. Some part of ethan wasn't thinking and he picked up his phone. He scrolled down to Mika's contact and hit call. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't think she was even going to answer. But to his suprise she did.

"Hello?"

"Mika... I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking... You probably don't wanna talk to me.. I..I'm sorry" ethan sobbed out. He had no reason to be crying he just didn't know what to do and didn't know why he was crying. He felt like he didn't know anything. He was going in and out of his headspace and he was clutching a hoodie that mark had sent him.

"Hey ethan I want you to breathe, I know what happened yesterday is a lot to take in. I know I over reacted and I wanna still be friends ethan, I don't hate you and I don't mind that you called me, but as of now I need you to breathe sweetheart" her voice was calming for some reason. He didn't know how to feel over any of this. He was scared and panicky and everything else but did as told. He did the breathing patterns mark and her had taught him for when he got like this.

"I'm sorry mika..." He mumbled slipping his paci near his lips.

"Hey bud, it's okay I just need to know that you're okay, would it be better if I turned on my camera so you could see me?" Ethan nodded suddenly remembering she couldn't see him so he made a small noise loosing all hope of talking. His headspace had taken over even if he didn't what it to. Mika turned on her camera and talked to him in a calming tone until he fell asleep. This was going to be a long trip. He hated being alone and didn't know when he would get to LA time wise within the next few days. He also didn't know how he felt about sharing a house with kathryn. He was good friends with Kat and was completely okay with her. She was super sweet it was just that ethan was scared if everyone at the moment. What if they all found out about his regession? What would happen if he was little in his room or recording room one day and Kat just walked in forgetting to knock or he didn't hear her knock? Or what if she found his gear? Or what if she hear cartoons playing and questioned it? Or what if she questioned Ethan's childish side? He had to many questions and he was terrified. But he figured he would sorry about more of them when they came. Now he just needed to worry about getting to LA and not completely falling for mark.