Chapter 20: The past wasn't easy

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30th October, 1981

Sirius Black was sitting on the sofa in the living room of his and his wife's house after another day of fighting and trying to survive. When he got home Cassie was crying and Emma was trying to calm her down. The only thing that stopped the cries was long gone. The teddy bear, named Fluffy, had been destroyed after the last attack on Emma and Cassie before Sirius protected the house.

"Why haven't you washed yourself?" Emma asked when she finally came downstairs.

"I did. I haven't changed yet. That's all," he tried to smile and hiss at the pain he felt. "I saw Bellatrix."

Emma, which was the Black sisters' cousin through their mother, froze as she was washing the dishes. For a moment Sirius thought that she would run upstairs and close the door behind her, without letting him see her (as she had done once or twice), but she continued with her work without answering.

"And... Emma, is there any way Regulus could be alive by this point?"

"I don't know. He is a smart boy, he could be alive... I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"Today I had to kill someone. He... She... I don't know, they tried to kill Ted and I... I killed them. I could have been anyone..."

"Regulus wouldn't do that. He wouldn't try to kill Ted..."

"This is war, Emma," Sirius said. "Even Saint Regulus would try to kill someone!"

Emma threw the dish in the sink and ran upstairs, closing herself in Cassie's room. Sirius went after her, but the door was locked.

He knocked. "Em? Come on, it's me."

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Sirius."

So he went downstairs. He sat down on the sofa and looked at the bookshelf in front of him. He liked their living room. The bookshelfs were in the shape of a tree which reminded him of his home and the family tree.

He and Regulus used to play in front of it before everything had gone to hell. Before Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and Regulus started to avoid him.

He thought of Emma and Regulus' friendship when she was a friend with those Death-Eaters. And then he thought of his little brother. They were happy before Hogwarts and still they found themselves in Hogwarts.

"Hello, Padfoot."

Sirius Black turned around.

"Remus."

Five minutes later Emma came downstairs, running. Cassiopea was crying from her room and Sirius was shouting at his best friend. Remus just looked at him and listened. As calm as always.

Emma hugged her husband as he was yelling. He wasn't crying like the baby girl upstairs, but she needed to do that- to calm him down as she calmed Cassie.

"Now go upstairs," she whispered. "I'll make tea and..." Cassie was still crying. "Or I'll..."

But Sirius ran to their daughter's room before Emma could even make a step in the staircase's direction. He took his little girl in his arms and kissed her head. Sirius started to sing some lullaby he had no idea where did he learned it from.

Cassie stopped crying almost immediately. "There," he smiled. "I'm sorry I woke you up, little star. Or you think that wolf is better?"

"Wo-wo..."

"Wolf," he helped her. "Wolf."

"Wof ?" she said sleepy, but proud. Sirius laughed a little and tried to put her in her crib. "Siwius! No. No."

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