Coder Girl /Dreamwastaken/

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I was in a dangerous mood. Dangerous for him, cause I was determined to say what's on my mind and force him to listen to it whether he wanted to or not.

I stood there watching him take off his shoes, remembering the little monolog I had with myself. Now it's time to try to recreate it.

"You matter."

And this is what came out of my mouth from all of that.

Why am I such a failure.

"Okay?" He chuckled, trying to walk past me.

I took a step back to block his way. It worked.

"I care about you."

There I go making no sense again.

"Thank you." He tried to walk away again but I repeated my previous actions.

"No I actually care about you more than you think I do. And more than I think I did. You really matter."

"You sound like a motivational facebook post, but like- aggressive." He wasn't taking my words seriously, and honestly, I wouldn't either.

How does one show affection?

"I.. I'm so bad at this, but please, you know what I wanna say." I sighed.

"Bad at what? I have no idea what you're saying, move out of my way please."

Either he really didn't know what I was trying to say, or he just wanted to watch me suffer. I felt like the words were choking me, and I could cry out of frustration.

"I'm bad at expressing my feelings," I groaned, "and that's why you're totally wrong about them."

"Wooow, you have feelings?" His sarcastic voice was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"I swear to god I'm gonna slap you-"

"Do it."

As if we weren't close enough, he cut the distance completely, towering over me in a way that left my heart thumping in my chest.

"I said do it."

"Wh-"

"You can't express how you feel about me verbally and it's killing me, at least do it physically," he grabbed my wrist and pulled it up to his face level, "slap me, do it."

Speak physically.

I can do that.

Instead of slapping him, I took the privilege of already having my hand up there and cupped his cheek, forcefully pulling him down to welcome in a heated kiss.

He hummed into my mouth. It was a sound I never knew I needed to hear. Something that encouraged me to speak.

"I never wanted to- mh," he shut me up with his lips, but I wasn't going to give up, "never wanted to hurt you."

His hands were everywhere on me. Tangling in my hair, traveling down my spine, grabbing me by my hips, going up to my waist. And all of those actions had the same exact intention - pulling me closer.

"We never spoke ab-," he moved to the corner of my mouth to let me finish my sentence, "never spoke about our feelings that's why I-"

He didn't react to my words verbally, but his hand went up to my throat, wrapping around it securely, but not applying any pressure yet - just as a way for him to control the kiss.

But he didn't think my pulse would be that prominent for him to hear from just touching my neck. I could hear it loud and clear, faster than usual, probably drumming against his skin. And he liked that, I knew he liked that cause his actions gave it away. Not only I could feel him smirking through the kiss, but his hand tightened around my throat too.

"You're so much better at speaking like this," he pulled away from the kiss and his hand got loose on my neck, finally letting me take a breath, "when you let your heart do it for you. Literally."

But he wasn't done yet. Using his massive hand that was acting as a necklace for me, he tilted my head so that he could work on my neck. I bit my lip trying to control myself when he started sucking a hickey in a place that was rather visible and hard to hide. As if that was his goal.

And the way he soothed the skin with a final kiss on it and got back up to my lips for a one last kiss, gave his intentions away. He was only there to mark me.

We were both out of breath, faces still inches away, foreheads touching. Just staring at each other and trying to catch our breaths.

"I'm sorry." I didn't even want to say what I was sorry for, I was sure he'd understand.

"Come here."

His arm that was wrapped around my waist pulled me closer to him, while the other one made sure my head would stay pressed against his chest. I wrapped mine around his torso, thinking that reaching his neck would be too much effort.

His heart was so loud, it felt like we were built to fit in a hug which would make me hear it beating a lot quicker and stronger than usual. And all for me.

"We'll talk about us when we get home, yeah?" His voice sounded like it was holding so much hope inside.

"Yeah." I hugged him even tighter for confirmation, "We will."

We stayed like that for minutes that passed like seconds. It was amazing how none of us got tired or put less effort into trying to keep each other close.

And I was totally falling into nirvana before I remembered about the two idiots drunk somewhere in a bar, probably making the worst decisions of their lives.

"Oh god-" the realization hit me instantly.

"What's wrong?" He broke the hug to look at me.

"Your stupid friends are literally wasted in a bar- oh my god how did I forget!"

I quickly threw the pillows aside from the couch to try and find my phone, but there was nothing there.

"What?" He was as confused as he should've been.

"I called Nick an hour ago, there was loud music and him being dumb- where the fuck did I put my phone?"

"Wait did you ask where they were? Was George with him?" He was slowly starting to freak out, "Your phone's in your back pocket."

I groaned and got my phone out to see if he texted the address or not. And he didn't, as all I could see were voice messages that I played out loud.

And just as I expected, it was them screaming along the lyrics of the songs that were getting played there, getting half of them completely wrong and the other half slurred from how wasted they were.