Hate Me Closer (Phan)

Chapter Twenty-Two

They sat there awkwardly, Phil being unsure whether he should have moved his hand from Dan's back after two minutes or the ten he was now at. Dan, on the other hand, was curled beside Phil, knowing he'd shuffled too close to the boy for either of them to be comfortable, but worried he'd close his friendly efforts off if he moved away again.

"Should we go and help my mum?" Phil asked, taking his hand away from Dan to stand up. He held his palm out to the younger boy to take.

Dan took a breath in, letting a small smile creep onto his lips again as he reached up towards Phil. His sleeve was damp with tears and his hands were worryingly cold, but the other teenager didn't flinch as they tightened their grasp on one another and lifted Daniel to his feet. They both waited a second too long to take their palms away, and even so, it was Phil who initiated it so he could pull his jumper down that rode up slightly when he stood.

"What are you baking?" Dan asked, following his housemate out of his own bedroom door.

"We are baking red velvet cupcakes. My grandparents' favourite, so." he shrugged, "Did your gran have a favourite?"

"Victoria sponge with more icing sugar on top than sugar that's in the cake. She kept me at a distance from mixing, though, I always seem to overdo it even if she stares at me while I try. She was convinced I was cursed."

"Just as bad as me, then." Phil laughed, but it was a chesty, genuine laugh that Dan couldn't help but smile back at, "What's your favourite?"

Dan walked down the stairs behind Phil as he thought about it, "Does fruit dipped in chocolate count? You can't mess it up too much, and there's something satisfying about taking healthy food and ruining it."

Phil giggled, nodding his head, "I'd be with you, but I don't like fruit at all."

"How can you not like fruit?!" Dan exclaimed, "What's yours, then?"

"Chocolate cake." he grinned smugly.

"Boring." Dan sarcastically stated, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Is that both of you I hear?" Katherine asked, laying the ingredients out on the sideboard.

"Yeah, I pulled him out of his room for him to trip over his jeans." Phil teased, standing on the other side of the countertop to Dan. His expression relaxed and somehow the younger boy knew it meant their exchange in the bedroom was staying between them, and he was thankful for it.

"Don't say you're as clumsy as Phil. The house will be falling down within a week."

Dan chuckled, "I've seen Phil's coordination. Don't worry, I'm not that bad."

"Hey!" Phil whined, throwing a wooden spoon.

"You two, pack it in." Kath joked, "Worse than a married couple."

"Please, you and Dad are the most boring people in existence." Phil snickered playfully.

"Pack it in, stop showing off, Mister." she gave her son a bowl, and Dan another, "If there's two of you, I'll just sit on this stool here and let you do the work." she chuckled, pulling out a piece of paper to write on, "And I'll get the note for when they're done."

"Just take the bowl off of me when it comes to mixing." Dan mumbled, "They'll be flatter than my..." he looked up, realising this wasn't the place for dick jokes. It wasn't boarding school.

He caught Phil's deer-in-headlights expression, holding eye contact with him until they both sputtered out laughter with Katherine looking suspiciously at the both of them, "I don't want to know what was just said, and I'm glad I didn't hear it." she rolled her eyes amusingly, "Just get the cakes done..."

***

The kitchen at the end of the evening was mostly covered in a thin layer of icing sugar, with the countertops dyed red and the two teenagers wearing more cake mixture on their shirts and faces than they had clothes on their bodies. They laughed it off, walking up the stairs, with Nigel offering to clean up for them and then the boys disappearing into their bedrooms.

Katherine started dinner as soon as they left, smiling at her husband as he wetted the surface sponge, "Did you hear them?" she asked.

Nigel nodded, "Dan seems to be coming out of his shell a bit more."

She nodded in agreement, scattering chips onto baking parchment and taking a breath, "I don't know what caused it, either. He might even help Phil in the long-run, you know."

"Hopefully." Nigel nodded, kissing Kath on the head and picking up a towel to dry the sides down.

"What's the plan for Christmas?" Kath asked, leaning against the counters with one of Dan's first batch of unpresentable cupcakes. She didn't mind that he had to do them again, in fact it made her quite fond of him, "We have Phil sorted, and Martyn's coming down on Christmas day, but I feel as though..."

"Ask him." Nigel pointed out, "And ask him what he used to do for Christmas. We'll try and make it normal for him. Spend on him what we do our boys, we've got the money and it'll mean more to him than it ever will us."

"You're right, you know?" she smiled, turning the timer on for the oven.

"I always am."

***

When they were sat at the table with their freezer-food dinner and pyjamas on instead of clothes, Phil's mum brought the question up, "Say, Dan, what did you used to do for Christmas?"

He shrugged, "Not much, really. It was always just me and my parents on Christmas day, so we'd start the morning opening our presents, then I'd disappear into my bedroom until dinner, where we'd sit around the TV watching the Queen's speech with our mouths full of turkey."

"You know," Nigel began, "I was never allowed to open my presents until the Queen had spoken, when I was younger."

"We know, Nigel." Kath sighed, placing her hand on his arm.

"Dan doesn't!" he whined.

"What did you get for Christmas?" Kath asked.

"Oh, you know, the usual bike, a PlayStation one year, DVDs. They didn't know me very well, but they could buy whatever they'd buy a typical boy and be sorted." he shrugged, dipping his chips into tomato ketchup.

She nodded, beginning to believe he'd not had a very magical childhood. She was determined to make this year special for him.