TommyInnit Angst

The Stream

Okay so I'm not very good at writing I just felt like doing this lol, please read the trigger warnings in the description before continuing and continue at your own risk, also I wrote this entire thing and it got deleted so round two lmao

Tommy's POV

I woke up and tiredly got outta bed, I look at my clock- shit! I'm supposed to be streaming soon, I walk to the bathroom and put in my AirPods to block out background noise. I start getting ready and check my phone... huh no notifications

They don't care about you

I walk back into my room and then start spinning and suddenly I'm on the floor? That's strange... I try to think about the last time I ate.... three days? 4? I find that I can't remember. I try to avoid going into the kitchen so I don't have to be near my parents and it's not like we have any real food around here anyways... but it's okay because it's helpful with my new diet! And the pain of starving is a nice change from the numbness... the pain is nice

With that thought on my mind I decide to sit in the floor a minute and scroll through social media because I find I don't have the strength to get back up. I scroll past pictures of my friends....

Such perfect bodies

Such perfect faces

So- so perfect

You'll never look like that

I look down at myself, god I am so fat... an overwhelming wave a sadness washes over me

They're friends with you out of pity! They don't actually care...

They care! I know they care!... do they care?

Your a burden towards them, there lives would be so much better if you would just disappear

I-I- notice water starting to drip on my phone? I look up... a leak maybe? No... I look back down at my phone and realize I am the source. I'm crying?

Weak

I lean my head back into the side of my bed with tears filling my eyes again... I look at my desk subconsciously and realize I was supposed to be in VC five minutes ago! I jump up with a newfound adrenaline and sprint to the bathroom. I make a sad effort to cover up my puffy face

Beep-Boop

Suddenly my AirPods die, the relaxing music suddenly disappears and is replaced by screams of anger and pain... I wince at a smash. "Wow this is even worse than normal"

Ignoring it Tommy practically leaps into his seat and starts spamming his computer and loading up Among Us, today he was playing with Dream, Tubbo, Techno, Wilbur, and Philza. It was a small party but according to Dream that made it more fun... Tommy begins to get more antsy

It's not like they care, I bet they wouldn't even notice if you didn't join

Tommy tries to force the voice to the back of his mind- another smash rings throughout the house, Tommy flinches.... maybe he shouldn't stream today, yeah that's okay he'll just stay on mute mostly and let his other friends stream.

It's not like your viewers care about your streams anyway, they just watch them to make fun of you

Tommy's eyes fill with tears again but he quickly wipes them away. His nerves get worse and worse- God why is his computer so slow

And in the midst of his panic and rushing

It never once crossed his mind to check if the door was locked....