Tales Of Fikayo

Chapter Thirty-four

I'll recommend to you - Pain by Nessa Barrett. It's a song that goes with the emotion of the chapter. I listened to it while writing.

Friday October 16, 2020

Adura's POV

This life is not balance...at all. If it is then all these things shouldn't be happening to me and my family.

I remember those days when I was young. The times when everything was perfect. The times when we went out for fun. The times when we were happy. Now our happiness has turned to the opposite.

I wonder how my mother is doing now. Is she getting better?...or worse. Is she still in a coma?

For the past few days that I've known what's going on at home, I've been like a living dead. I've lost my focus on everything. Everytime I find myself thinking about my mom... about my memories with her...how I was not observant.

I don't understand why God allowed this to happen to my mom. After all her prayers to him. After how strong her faith was in Him. After how she believed so much in God. He still let this happen to her.

Is there really a God? Or we're just being fooled. If there was a God my mom won't be lying in that hospital bed in pain.

No...if he existed, all this won't be happening. My mom believed so much in this omnipotent God but look where she is now.

All this pains me. I hate my dad for not telling me when they first discovered that she was ill.  I hate my mom for keeping this from me. I freaking hate myself for not noticing it.....I hate myself....I hate God for allowing this.

They said she's in stage four leukemia. The chemotherapies are no longer working....it'll only take a miracle for her to survive. But do miracles exist?

Tears fill my eyes, making my sight blurry.

We are supposed to attend my graduation all together. Will that still be possible now. Am I ever going to have that perfect Christmas celebration again. Will I ever taste her food.

Everything just feels cloudy. My head feels heavy. Everything seems tangled. The tears roll down my face freely, wetting my school uniform trousers.

I grab my pillow and place it close to my face. I press my face int the pillow and scream loudly into it.

My roommates are not around...they've both gone to school. I'm also supposed to be in school but I got a message that I'll be visiting my mom today.

To be honest, I don't want to see her. I don't want to see her in pain. I don't want to see her so fragile. It'll break my heart more. But I guess I'll have to see her.

"Adura your father is outside." A voice sounds outside and my tears stop abruptly. I guess it's time to face reality.

"Ok..I'm coming" I reply the voice, standing up from my bed. I grab my phone, wipe my tears and walk out of the room. I lock the room and proceed to leave the hostel.

After dropping the key of the room with the portals, I walk out of the hostel to see my father outside, resting against his car.

His eyes are red, sunken and surrounded with dark circles. His hair is disheveled. He just looks entirely different. I guess this is what happens when you're about to lose your loved one.

"Hey Dad." I say once reaching him. He doesn't reply, he just nudges his head at me and enters the car.

He's in pain. I can see it. It's written all over his face. I wonder the last time he slept...but then how can you sleep when your wife is dying.