Quarantine swipe

The neighbor

The next day I decided to order a pizza.
I wasn't in the mood for cooking, or eating healthy by all means.
I've always taken care of my waist line, eating salads for lunch and counting my carbs. But this quarantine made me not give a crap about my physical appearance, and I had been patient, most days I cooked for myself something healthy. But today I was craving for some greasy junk food.

I took a shower today, because I mean I was seeing the delivery guy.

Then I heard a loud knock on my door.
Finally
Me stomach growled.

When I opened the door I was stunned with how cute the delivery guy was, I mean, I know I haven't seen any human in 2 months, and maybe it was my imagination but the guy so hot. He was tall and muscular, with black hair and blue penetrating eyes.
He was holding a pizza box in his hands.

The guy looked at me with a smirk on his face and then his eyes travelled all the way down my body. Like he was undressing me with his eyes. He looked a bit surprised of my appearence.

And I felt disgusted, invaded, naked in his eyes.

"Thank you" I said disgusted, grabbing the pizza and breaking our gaze, I put the money in his hand and then closed the door. In his face.

Perv.

"Ok Andy, that was enough socializing for today" I said out loud to myself.

I set the pizza on the table when I heard a loud bang on the door again.

Did I give him the wrong amount of money?

I opened the door to see the delivery guy in the same position as before, with one hand on the door frame and a sexy smirk.

I stood there impatiently waiting for him to say something, but he was just looking into my eyes.

Then he said
"So, the next time you order a pizza make sure you put on the right address"

"What are you talking about? I put on the right adress" I said defensive.

"Then why was the pizza delivered to my place?" he asked signaling the next door

WHAT?? Was he my neighbor???

"I..I" I stumble with my words at the shock, this hot guy was my neighbor?

"I was about to eat it" he interrupted what I was about to say "but I felt sorry for the old lady from next door who was going to be left starving, and I didn't want to hear all that moping again" he said.

"Old lady?" I asked with displeased eyes. Was I looking that bad? Maybe all that crying and depressing made me wrinkle.

"Yeah, I thought you were a crying old lady" he said with a mocking smile. 

"You were the one banging on my walls" I said realizing it.

"Yes I was" he said with a cocky smile "who did you thought it was?"

"I don't know, a ghost" I said between teeth.

He laughed hard.

"Well, I hope this pizza make you happy enough for you to not cry for the rest of the day"  he said cockily turning his head towards his door and leaving me there feeling embarrassed. 

Fuck that guy was annoying.

I closed my door and went for my delicious greasy pizza.
I ate half of it and store the other half for diner.
I couldn't stop thinking about my neighbor, about everything he said to me. How could he think I was an old lady?
How could I haven't seen him before?

I looked at the clock it was only 3:00pm, I had all the afternoon left, but today I was feeling happy, so I decided to put something cheerful on the tv, FRIENDS will do, I thought.
After watching a few episodes I heard that familiar bang on the wall next to the couch.

What now?

I turned to the wall and yelled annoyed.
"What!!?"

"Can you lower the volume from your tv? You're gonna end up deaf" he's deep voice shouted through the wall.

It wasn't that loud.

So I turned the volume up just to irritate him.

The sound of the friends theme song started and I sang it as well, so loud. 
Hoping that he was irritated enough.

I wasn't doing what he said, this was my house after all. who did he think he was? he can't just order me around. 

after a while I turned the volume down and continued watching the show.

After a few minutes I started to hear a loud hideous sound coming from the wall, what was that? It sounded like a dying agonizing squirrel, a speaker was bouncing through my walls.
It was awful.
It's like a rap song combined with Metallica.

He was taking revenge.

Fucker

I tried to suck it up, trying not to care. I was being indifferent. After a while I think he surrender, or maybe I just went deaf, but he turned off the horrible sound and everything went quiet.

I watched the leftover pizza that was at my kitchen table and got and idea.

I grabbed a sharpie and write on the pizza box with big letters:

YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC SUCKS.

then I opened my door, left the pizza on his doorstep, rang the bell and went running straight to my apartment like a sneaky spy.

I watched through the peep hole how he opened the door, looked from one side  to another and then to the floor, he picked up the pizza and with a smile he closed his door.

It was until a few seconds that I realized that I had a big smile on my face.