First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 81

Nash's POV

I finish in the restroom, wiping my hands over my jeans before I realize what I'm doing and curse at myself. Old habits die hard.

Jasmine went downstairs as I suggested so my room is empty, leaving me to my nervous thoughts. I don't know how I feel about this, taking her virginity. I don't think I can do this, not because I don't want to, but if I see her in pain because of me it will kill me. I'll feel like some dick who's just trying to get off as she sits there in agony. I care about her too much to see her hurting like that and not stop.

I needed her to go downstairs so I could prepare everything, grabbing the pack of condoms I bought some time after she made me cum in my boxers that night up in her bedroom. I didn't anticipate using them any time soon but I wanted them just in case I needed them and I didn't want the opportunity to come and be unprepared.

Lube. I didn't get lube.

"Shit." I groan, running over to my dresser and searching through my bottles of lotion and body sprays. I should have gotten some, it will definitely help with Jasmine being a virgin. It will make it easier for her, I even googled all this shit. I'll just make sure she's wet and god gave us saliva for a reason. It's fine, I don't need the lube, I tell myself. I was bored one night and I was curious, sue me, so I went online, searched up all the ways I could make this somehow better for her. I know it's weird that I would do that, actually look all that shit up randomly, but I didn't want to make this a bad experience for her and I'm just glad that I did that all ahead of time rather than doing it now, all rushed and last minute like I do everything else.

I'm supposed to make her laugh, I'm supposed to give her control, I'm supposed to love all of her, not just her most intimate places. It's just that I'm so fucking nervous, I don't know if I'll remember all that shit when we're actually in the moment and the more I think of how I'll be too nervous to do this right, the more nervous I get.

I shove the unopened box of condoms into my bag and head downstairs. I don't want to focus on that right now because if I don't stop myself, pictures of a naked Jasmine whimpering and moaning under me will be the only thing running through my mind during dinner and I'll end up cumming in my pants as she eats across from me.

Jasmine's POV

A/N Play Medicine by The 1975 for maximum feels.

Dinner was wonderful. I had a Four Cheese Ravioli in a Garlic Marinara Sauce and Nash had a Roasted Cauliflower and Chicken Rrisotto. We finish off with gelato, Nash gets mint chocolate chip and I get mango cream. It was the perfect ending to a perfect meal and when we ordered our gelato I was able to whisper to the waitress that it was Nash's birthday. When they brought our dessert out, his had sparklers in it and about eight waiters came to our table and sang something in Italian. When we left the restaurant the cheery mood surrounding our dinner was replaced by a tense air in the car, us both filled with anticipation of what was to come.

I pick at a fray string on my sweater and Nash hums along to some song on the radio, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. I stare out of the window and think about tonight. I've been hoping and praying that it won't hurt as bad as everyone says it does, everyone is different and maybe I'll be one of those girls that don't feel pain their first time.

I catch Nash staring at me when we stop at a red light and I smile nervously. His hand finds mine and he squeezes, his thumb running over my knuckles. I know he loves me but I'm still so god damn anxious. I recognize the street we are driving down, it's mine. Nash parks the car in my driveway and I don't look at him as I get out and he grabs our bags from the back of the Jeep without a word.