First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 11

Sam's POV

"So can you come or not?" I asked, pushing my bottom lip out as I grabbed her hand in mine. She frowned before pulling her hand out of mine. She had been doing that a lot lately. There is probably something wrong with her.

I stepped towards her, deciding if I should try to grab her hand again. I decided against it as I took in her nervous expression, "What's up with you lately?" She took in a deep breath, "Well, I don't- I just don't think you should-" she paused for a second. "You shouldn't be acting that way around me when you have a girlfriend." She finally said.

Oh shit! I never really noticed it because she had never said anything about it before, but I couldn't deny that I was always trying to hold her hand, or pull her closer to me. I couldn't help my constant need for physical contact. I felt bad because I always led her on, but I was too selfish to second guess every single gesture and sometimes my hand would just slip and before I knew it, she was in my arms.

I decided that playing dumb was the best direction to go in, "What are you talking about?" I said, trying my best to look confused. I knew it was convincing when she took a step back from me, "I-I" she shook her head to herself.

"Jasmine, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm with Sarah, and you know that." I knew I was adding insult to injury, but I just needed her to drop this before other things were brought up, things I didn't want to be brought up because I knew we'd both end up hurt.

"But you always-" she paused and I could see her trying to hold herself together. Jasmine cried easily, that's just who she was. I could already see the tears forming. Luckily she dropped it, "Of course, forget I said anything." She smiled, but it didn't touch her eyes. Thank god!

"Let's go." She said before shaking her head to herself once more and trudging down the hallway. I fell in step beside her, watching as she forced a smile onto her face. I felt a little guilty for making her feel stupid, but it was better than the alternative.

She remained quiet the whole ride home, and I wasn't going to push conversation so I settled for the soft hum off the AC system. When we pulled up in front of her house, she didn't get out of the car as I expected her to do.

"Sam, why are you with Sarah?" she tentatively asked. SHIT! I was always able to talk myself out of this one, but I just knew that she wasn't going to let it go this time. I fiddled with the gear shift as I choose my words carefully, "I like her... She's a good girlfriend." That's good enough right?

"That's it?" She replied annoyed. Of course it isn't, Sam come on. It's Jasmine we're talking about here. My conscience laughed bitterly. "Not that she makes you happy? Not that you're falling for her?" she spat.

Why did she always have to be so difficult, "Jasmine, I've told you before that I'm with her and that isn't going to change." I tried my best to end the conversation there. I watched as hurt flashed on her face, before it hardened in a scowl again.

"You know what?" Oh god. "I don't get how you can sit there and say that you have all these feelings for me, but you continue to be with some one that you could care less about." She said, crossing her arms as she focused her hard stare on me.

"Jasmine please don't do this right now." I whispered. "That is what you say every single time, Sam." She shook her head. "Then when am I supposed to do it then, huh?" She cried out in frustration. I closed my eyes, resting my head against the steering wheel.

"Jasmine, I don't feel the same way about you, as you do for me." I could barely breathe as I choked out the words meant to intentionally hurt her. I glanced up at her as the pain registered on her face. "What?" I couldn't look at her hurting anymore, so I kept my eyes on the wheel as I heard her sharp exhale.

I didn't know what to say, but she still couldn't fucking drop it. "Then what about all those times you said you did?" I could hear it in her voice that she was crying now. "I-I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to hurt you." I whispered, frightened because I knew that I already had. She laughed, of all things to do, she laughed. "And I'm not hurt now?" She yelled.

Silence settled between us and all I could hear were her soft sobs. I wanted to say something, but that would have defeated the purpose of me hurting her on purpose minutes before. I just sat there as she grabbed her bag off the floor in front of her and stormed out of the car, the car rattling when she slammed the passenger door.

SAY SOMETHING! GET HER TO COME BACK! My conscience begged me. "Jasmine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!" I cupped my hands over my mouth as I yelled out of the window after her. "Go to hell Sam!" She screamed back before slamming the door between us, separating us.

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the steering wheel. I laid my forehead against it as I felt tears start to brim on my lashes. I ran my thumb over my already swollen knuckles, wincing before opening and closing my injured hand a few times to ease the pain.

I looked back towards her house, thinking that maybe she would come running out. But I looked for her in vain, cursing at myself before pulling around the cul de sac and into my driveway. I wish i could tell her the trush, get her to understand. But i just couldn't tell her why i was really dating Sarah, I knew she would never understand it.

The guys, including that little blue eyed fucker, were going to be here soon and I couldn't afford to look like some pathetic bitch crying over Jasmine in front of Nash.