First Choice (Sam Wilkinson/Nash Grier)

Chapter 88

Jasmine's POV

Sam and I haven't spoken in over a week.

It's unbearable, the pain, the emptiness, but there is nothing I can do but ignore it and let Nash distract me. We've stopped hanging out with everyone and started hanging out just the two of us except for once when Shawn invited us over. It's terrible that my relationships with everyone has had to suffer, the girls are my best friends, the guys are like my brothers, but they were all Sam's friends before they were ever mine and Sam and I aren't... We aren't friends anymore. 

I still see him everyday and the first few times it took everything I had to not run to him and wrap my arms around him and beg him to try just one more time. He has been looking more and more like his normal self everyday, gaining back some color and every once in a while he's got a grin on his face until he sees me. He still looks straight through me as if I don't exist. The first few times he looked me in the eye I would burst into tears but now it's just nothing. The ache is still there but it always is, I've excepted it. 

"Jasmine. Are you listening?" Nash calls from his bathroom. I scramble to remember the last few seconds of his rambling just before I let my mind wander off. Something about the dance being in the gym. 

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea. What if it's ugly?" I frown as I grab my dress off of the bed. It's the one with a strapless black top, silver waistband, and mint green frills. I wore it last on my birthday and I loved the way I looked in it. I debated for a few days on if I should wear my other creme and maroon one. The last time I wore it was at Shawn's ball with Sam as my date. That night was one of the best nights of my life, everything that Sam did made me think that we meant something, that we could make this work. I know now that it was all for nothing. I recall the lyrics to our song and feel the ache in my chest begin to call my attention to it.

Can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave.

Nash comes out of the bathroom and I immediately turn away from him to hide the look on my face as I recall the once perfect cherished memory that now brings me more pain than happiness to think about. 

"It won't matter because you'll be all I'm looking at." He presses his body to my back and wraps his arms around my body from behind. 

"Wow. So smooth." I roll my eyes and force myself to giggle for him. I don't do much laughing anymore, only for Nash.

"I know, I try." He whispers before pressing a kiss just under my ear. 

"I love you." He mouths and I close my eyes and try to force myself to form the words he wants to hear. I can't do it.

His arms slowly unravel themselves, his hands moving over my waist slowly as if he's reluctant to let go. 

"I'm sorry Nash, I already told you I can't. He took everything from me." I whisper as I feel his body move away from mine. I open my eyes as I turn to see him walking back into the bathroom.

"It's alright. I told you I understand and I do but that doesn't mean I'm just not going to tell you that I love you. It will kill me if I don't, I don't want you to forget." He mutters before he shuts the bathroom door. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent with us silently getting ready. Nash is dressed in a plain black and white suit with a mint green bow tie to match my dress. The suit is simple but he still manages to look exquisite in it. His bright blue eyes pop being the only colorful aspect other than the bow tie. He'd gotten his dark hair cut and no longer has highlights. It now looks perfect, product in it to hold it when he combs it back into a clean cut style to match his dressy outfit. He looks absolutely amazing as he puts on his dress shoes and fixes his bow tie in the mirror. The dance is masquerade themed and I actually like that a lot. It get to hide myself in a socially acceptable way for once.

Nash's is plain black with glitter accents that it took me forever to convince him to allow. My mask is much more intricate, not as concealing as Nash's. It's black but made to look like the bodess of a butterfly with only the lines showing. A line of gems falls down the center of the mask over my nose and it complements my dress perfectly. I follow Nash's movements as he picks his up and holds it to his face. He ties the bows to secure it and I do the same.

"Wow that's so creepy. I can't even tell it's you," I gasp as Nash's face breaks into a wide grin.

"You look sexy in yours," He mumbles. The black bordering his eyes makes them look so much darker and wanton.

"No you should see yourself Nash. You look so handsome." I smile at his reflection in the mirror and his eyes flicker up from his finger working over his tie in the mirror to me in my dress. I blush as he bites on his bottom lip and step into my black wedges. 

"Nothing compared to you. You look gorgeous as always." He says quietly as he stares at his mask in the mirror. It goes with his black suit perfectly  He turns around to look at me and I step towards him to peck his lips. They taste minty and I can't help but moan when he licks into my mouth. He wraps one arm around my back to press my body to his as he cradle my face with the other hand and deepens the kiss. I lock my arms around his neck and like that I don't have to strain to make up for our height difference in these shoes. 

He pulls away from the heated kiss and rest his forehead against mine. He doesn't say anything as he loosens his arm from around me and grabs my hand when he lets me go. 

"Are you ready to go?" He asks as he grabs his phone from the dresser and shove sit into his pocket. 

I nod as I he grabs my clutch and hands it to me. In it are my phone, lip gloss, and for once I haven't brought any emergency money because I know I can depend on Nash. I know he doesn't have job so I have no clue where he gets his money from and I'll have to remember to ask him about that.

He yells bye to Hayes and we leave quickly before the little brat can come out of his room and say something rude or awkward to us. I still get the feeling he doesn't like me and I've mentioned this to Nash multiple times now but he still has yet to tell me why or fix the problem. 

The ride is long and cold, I didn't bring any jacket or cover because it would ruin my outfit. Stupid.

Nash doesn't realize I've been freezing until right when we pulled into the school parking lot and he placed his hand on my thigh, having felt the goosebumps. He promptly turned on the heat but we'd be leaving the car in two seconds anyways. 

As soon as Nash opens my door I shriek, it's absolutely freezing with a breeze blowing by blowing my curled hair into my face. 

"Come here." Nash giggles as he grabs my hands and helps me to my feet. He wraps his arms around me as he shuts the door and keeps one arm wrapped firmly around my waist as I shiver and we walk up to the school gym. I immediately notice Matthew following a certain black girl in a stunning blue dress into the ladies room. They haven't even got masks on. Nash and I share a glance as he grins and I stifle a giggle. They can never seem to get enough of each other. 

The moment is lost as I watch Nash's face fall. He is staring straight ahead, a deep frown on his face as his arm tightens around me. I already knew who it would be as I turn to follow his gaze and instantly regret it. Sam is standing off to the side of the gym doors with Sarah. 

---

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart- Ariana Grande 

Half a Heart- One Direction

Red- Taylor Swift

All Too Well- Taylor Swift

I'm sorry I don't update as often as I used to loves. I'm caught up in my junior year and it's exhausting. I'm going to try an dget better for you guys.

All the love,

Alyssa.