The Middle Child

Chapter 17

A/N: It gets worse before it’s supposed to get better…Right? 😈 Buckle up, it's a long one...

Sasha

“Sometime we’re insecure, we’re fragile sometimes we, laugh at each other, to make ourselves feel better, sometimes we laugh, sometimes we say things that we really don’t mean, but in the moment, seems like the thing to do, We’re all flawed beautiful people, we’re all flawed beautiful creatures” -Stacy Barthe

A few days later, Saturday…

After my mom and I had our heart to heart talk and reconciliation, I made the decision to go back home, which came as a surprise to pretty much everyone. I know no one was expecting me to come back so soon, and I know some of my family probably wasn’t expecting me to come back at all, but after we talked, I felt in my heart that it was time for the Prodigal daughter to return home. So, after Paco and I left and after he got over the shock of not only meeting my mother and aunt, but also singing for her as well, we got food, and instead of finishing our rehearsal, we just talked. I told him what happened with my mom and how we reconciled, and I told him how I felt that it was time for me to go home, and he agreed and encouraged me to do it. He also reminded me of the conversation we all had when I first cut my hair and he encouraged me to not stray from that new mindset because by me continuing to stay away from home it would only prolong the problem, not solve them. Nothing good grows out of stagnation.

He explained to me the concept of growth like this: In a baby’s first year of life, every day, every week, and every month you can literally see how rapid a baby grows and changes in a year. Because of this rapid growth you can see that it wouldn’t make sense to put clothes for a one year old on a newborn and vice versa. When a baby is born you feed it formula, but by the time they’re one, they’re eating solids. You wouldn’t feed a newborn solid food, just like you wouldn’t feed a one-year old formula. The point he was trying to make was, if you’re growing, why would you continue or try to do things you’ve grown out of? But at the same time, don’t rush to do something you haven’t grown into. You’ll know when you’re ready to move into your next level, just like you’ll know when to move out of an old one.

After our talk, it just really put a lot of things into perspective for me because Paco was right; I had found refuge in Mommy and in her house, but it didn’t alleviate the issue, it only put it on hold. The time spent went Mommy was very needed, but of course, all good things must come to an end. I’m really going to miss being under her and around her all the time but hey, she’s only a phone call and a short drive away. I’m just so grateful that she opened up her home to me for as long as she did. Three days turned into over three months and not once did she ever complain about me being there. Now that’s love. But I can’t lie, I missed my siblings, even Brooklyn, believe it or not, and I missed my parents, so after I dropped Pac back off at the studio I went home and grabbed my essential items, not too much worried about packing everything because I didn’t need everything, and I made my way on back home.

Thankfully when I got there, Mommy was there so I was able to tell everyone my decision at the same time. I could tell she was a little sad to know I was leaving, but she let me know she was so happy that I was ready to come home and work things out with everyone. Unfortunately, my dad was away on business and he originally wasn’t supposed to be back for another few days, but once Mama realized that I was coming back home she was so happy she immediately called and told him, so he cut his trip short and would be coming back today, so I’ll just cross that bridge when I get there. I knew without a doubt the happiest person to see me back home was Blue, she’s been stuck to me like glue ever since she saw me walk through the door, she’s even slept in my room with me these past couple of nights, but I’m not complaining, I really missed my Bluebird. I felt bad a little bit because those three months away, even though it went by incredibly fast, it was still three months away from her, and even though I made a point to spend time with her a for our sister time, it can’t equate or compare to seeing each other every day.