The Second Chance (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 22

***-DEVON’S POV-***

I watched Amanda play her black guitar, her voice bringing me back like it always did. I loved it when she sang, she reminded me of Rachel so much I couldn’t get over it. 

I studied her reddish brown hair that was falling down her chest and over her shoulders, those same green piercing eyes…

I missed Rachel. 

Over the last month, I had started really thinking about Rachel. I had finally allowed myself to analyze the feelings she gave me over the past four years, it depressed me, and it made me majorly sad half the time, but I had really started to figure myself out. 

Even though it wasn’t what I expected, or liked. 

Me and Rachel… we were different. I had finally taken notice to all the things Rachel had done for me, she wrote songs and played them for me, and they were most likely about me. She comforted me at night when I needed it, she kept me close, she protected me…

She had been telling me for years that she was in love with me… just not with words. With actions. 

I felt so stupid for not noticing… maybe if I would’ve noticed sooner, instead of her having to tell me… she would still be here. 

And maybe… just maybe, we would have worked it out, and possibly… been together. 

My heart ached thinking about her, like when cold wind hit’s an open soar. It was constantly there, the pain, but when you thought about it, it intensified. Then after that you were screwed, you were forced to think about it for hours, killing yourself with questions that will never ever be answered.

Like why did she love me? Or what did she love most about me? Or what would her kisses feel like? When she would bring me on dates, and call me baby… What would that have been like?

But the bad thing was, I would never know. 

Then there was Amanda, when I met her, she wouldn’t be recognizable from afar. She had lush soft brown hair, and now it was dark reddish brown, her freckles on the bridge of her nose weren’t there when I met her. Her eyes… God they were the most haunting thing about her, they resembled Rachel’s perfectly… and it scared me. 

Then there was the guitar, her voice, her mannerisms, her body, everything… everything reminded me of Rachel. 

And in a way, deep inside my heart, it was like she was here with me. 

There were times where I would look at Amanda, the way she looked at me sometimes, it never scared me… but it looked as if she was longing for me. 

The same way Rachel used to look at me, but I was to stupid to realize. 

And sometimes… I would catch myself thinking about Amanda in ways I shouldn’t.