The Second Chance (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 8

-DEVON’S POV-

I had woken up a little startled from the door, and I saw Amanda walk in looking quite… shocked. I didn’t want to aggravate her about where she was or who she was with… besides, it was none of my business. 

I had gotten a glimpse of who was outside though, and it was that girl Samantha. I knew her, she graduated a year ahead of me at the same Highschool. She was weird, or so I heard, people always spread unwanted rumors. 

I never clarified if she owned up to all of the things I heard about her, but I wouldn’t want to associate her. 

Besides, she was a lesbian. 

I thought of Rachel, and I felt a huge depressing wave drown me all of a sudden. When I thought about her… God it hurt like hell. 

The last thing she ever told me was she was in love with me… and all I did was back away from her like a disease. The last moment she had with me… was probably one of her most horrible moments in her life. That was something I could never take away, it was something I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life. 

I heard Amanda climb into her bed and I peeked over to her, she looked peaceful, but then she didn’t. She had something on her mind… I could see it. 

Her eyes… when I heard her name I felt like my heart had been ripped. It had just given me a reality check on life. It wasn’t a small town, but meeting with her and being her roommate… well it was fucked up, I could tell you that. 

Her eyes though, she reminded me so much of Rachel. The way she paced around the room when she was thinking, the way she ordered at that café, her song preference… 

In a way it was like she was still here with me, but I knew better. 

I rolled over, facing the wall and finding myself not being able to find sleep again. Great. It was going to be one of those nights, the ones where I couldn’t close my eyes for more then ten seconds without thinking about something else. 

The pain, the depression was all still there in my heart, and it always found me at night. 

But when I was with Amanda… it faded. She talked to me just like Rachel used to talk to me, we could talk for hours on end and I barely even knew her. We talked about nothing half the time, just joking around and acting like idiots. 

And in a way… I wished it was Rachel, not Amanda. Sometimes I would even have to correct myself when I called her name, accidentally shouting Rachel instead of Amanda. 

In a way I also thought Rachel’s death was my fault, if I would’ve been there for her, comforted her and told her it was going to be alright… she might still be here. If would’ve just pulled her into me for a hug, she wouldn’t have gotten into that damn truck with Trenton. 

She would still be alive… even though she would be in New York.