The Second Chance (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 34

-AMANDA’S POV-

Weeks passed, the feelings returned, the depression returned, everything returned when Devon did. Everything went back to the fucked up normal I was used to, and in a way I wished Devon would just leave again. I was depressed now, annoyed, heartbroken because now I knew the truth.

Devon was in love with Rachel, not me. 

She would never love me, she wasn’t gay, the only reason she would ever love me would be because I was just like Rachel… and I couldn’t accept that. 

Could I?

Another thing that was bothering me, the dreams, they were back, more vivid and realistic then ever. I still didn’t understand them… and Devon helping me figure it out was out of the questions because, well…

I had moved out. 

I moved back with my parents, I was still going to school of course, but leaving… well I needed to. I thought maybe if I was away from Devon like when she left me I would return to normal but I was wrong. 

I was so, so wrong. 

It had gotten worse, the dreams, the emotions, the looks, everything had just gotten out of hand. I felt closer to my parents of course, but it was like I was losing who I was. Like I was losing who I used to be, I was so different, and my parents were noticing, questioning me constantly…

But moving back was not an option. 

I thought being roomies with Devon was going to be cool, but it was a complete disaster. My life was turned upside down, everything altered when I met her…

And I still didn’t get why. 

I was sitting on my bed, laptop in que, and I began to wonder… there was a connection between me and Rachel. I needed to get to know Rachel a little better know, I needed to figure out what we had in common and why…

So I google-ed her. 

Rachel Lee Kidder, 1994-2012, Facebook Profile, About Me:

-Class of ‘12!

-Yes, I am gay, so don’t ask. 

-“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain” - Bob Marley

-I have the awesome-est best friend in the world, Devon Hall, she’s been through thick and thin with me and I would want no one else to experience it with. 

-If I had to pick a favorite food, it would have to be my mom’s Lasagna. 

-I play guitar, write music, and sing. Don’t judge me before you hear me. 

-Julliard in the Fall!

That’s all they had, then I moved to her pictures, her favorite food… well that was my favorite to.