The Second Chance (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 30

It was Friday after noon, I was packing my guitar up for the show with Trevor and his band at The Lounge and I was hoping that Devon would show. 

I had even texted her telling her what time and everything, even though she didn’t reply. 

I figured she was spending time with her family, or she was sleeping or sick… but in the back of my head I knew the truth. 

She was just ignoring me. 

I felt the pain in my heart return, but there was just that one hint of hope I had… Maybe she would surprise me, run up to me and hug me around the neck like she did before she left. Or maybe she was going to show up any minute now, ready to burst through the door and hug me and tell me she missed me. 

A girl can dream, right?

The situation with Samantha… well that was an entire new ordeal itself. I felt guilty, stupid, dirty… and a little like a whore…

But I could do absolutely nothing to get rid of the pain. 

I wanted to accuse Samantha of rape, but I couldn’t do that because I had willingly let her. I didn’t fight, I didn’t protest, I did nothing to stop her… so I was in the blame to. I wanted to blame Samantha, but there was no use… 

I had lead her on and allowed her to do what she did… so it was all my fault. 

I had told no one about it, not even Trevor… I was to ashamed. I had the worry in my stomach churning just thinking about it… 

I grabbed my guitar, slinging it over my shoulder and grabbing my keys. Guess Devon wasn’t going to run through the doors after all…

Maybe at The Lounge. 

I started walking to my car, the air was cool, wrapping around me and making me shiver slightly. It was getting colder, and I hated it, because one thing I hated was being depressed, but I really hate being depressed and alone on a cold nasty night…

Without Devon. 

I felt tears sting my eyes once more, it wasn’t getting better for me, the distance thing… she really needed to come home.

In the time we actually spent together… we had grown so close, everything was fine… then all of a sudden she felt the need to leave? I just didn’t get it… she had always been depressed, I mean who wouldn’t be? Her best friend died in a car wreck just 6 months ago… that’s a hard blow to take. But now she was starving herself, majorly depressed… nothing inside my head clicked. 

Was it because I looked awfully similar to Rachel? Or was it because I played guitar, or so say acted like her, according to Devon? 

Or was it because she was to afraid to get attached to someone like that again? Afraid she was going to lose them and have to relive the nightmare?