Chapter 16

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Ryujin's POV

The students left when our practice ended. Jinsoul and my other band mates fixed their things already and here I am, strumming my guitar that I left beneath earlier.

"Hey monkey, aren't you going to help us?" Jinsoul asked.

"Yujin brought the electric guitar already." I said, not looking at them.

This was the first time I didn't see a glimpse of her. She was always standing away or close with the crowd. I've always noticed her but this time I didn't see her.

"Psh you and your lazy ass. I'll head back to our room after this."

"Take care, I'm fine here." I said.

"Not asking."

I ignored her and sat on the edge of the stage. Why am I disappointed? She told me she's busy, right? Why am I always expecting.

Expecting that it was all a joke.

Why am I putting expectations in all things? Then I always end up getting hurt and it suck. I hate this feeling.

I've always felt this in home...and it has been following me since then.

"Come up to meet you🎶"

"Tell you I'm sorry🎶

You don't know how lovely you are🎶"

I'm suddenly feeling so uncertain about everything.

What makes you feel certain about specific things?

When you feel that it'll go the same way as you thought it'd be.

What made me feel certain about Yeji? When she told me she likes me but she didn't tell me either, I annoyed her. Besides, Seulgi won't probably like it.

"Nobody said it was easy🎶
It's such ashame for us to part🎶

Nobody said it was easy🎶
No one ever said it would be this hard🎶"

I'm attractive, I can't deny that fact. I don't know why I'm pushing myself in a wrong love. I don't know why I'm pushing myself to be a sinner.

"I want the best for you, Ryujin. I had experience love more than you do, what makes you feel superior than me?"

I wonder what mom went through to be like that...I don't hate her. Mom...mom never knew how to love right, after all. Because if she knew, her love would be balance among us three, dad, Jisu and me.

I never felt that she gave love to my dad. She doesn't love me either. Why did she grow up with a little knowledge about love.

Well you're adopted, Ryujin. Why did you expect to be loved?

Surely mom knows how to love. She just chose not to show it to me.

Yeah...mom knows how to love...

"I told you not to go outside! It's raining, do you want to caught a cold?!"

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