Longshot - catfish and the bottlemen

44 - Bella

I've got a half day today and I don't work Fridays either so it gives me enough time to prepare for Van coming home, even though it's only for two days. The ladies I work work are all much older than me, Liz is 68 and she's really taken me under her wing since I started working here. Liz always checks up on me, even out of work because her husband used to be in the army so they were always doing long distance so she had a lot of sympathy for me. Although  being in the army and being in a band are two completely different things, I know that Vans okay but she would've been ten times more worried than me. She's actually quite a fan of their music, when I told her Van was in a band and showed her a couple of the songs she went out and bought herself the three CDs. Usually I don't like going about saying Van Mcann is my boyfriend, we're not very public people but I don't mind people I'm close with knowing of course.

At work there's a girl called Lottie, a beautiful young lady and a really talented one too, especially for being just fifteen. It was actually Liz who sent her to me, Liz is the one who's in charge here and Lottie said she hated music but within a few weeks of us spending time together she found a passion for it. I see a lot of myself in her, she doesn't have a good relationship with her mother and she's quiet, really quiet but now she lets the music do the talking for her which I'm glad about because that's my job. Lottie was the last person I was seeing this week which I always look forward to although I do look forward to seeing everyone.

I walk down into the main room where I'd usually find her sitting in the corner with her earphones in but she wasn't there this week. Instead she was talking to one of the other ladies that work here which isn't a common sight, normally she'd only speak to Liz or me so I was glad to see her speaking to Faye so confidently. Soon we head down to my room which is thankfully one of the bigger ones but I need it for all the instruments and things. I do my usual chat I need to do every time I see someone which only takes about ten minutes but then we get to have our own chat and have a play. Although my phone starts ringing and I feel so guilty because it's normally on silent, I don't want anyone I see thinking Ive got more important people to talk to. It's Van, of course. I'd love to answer but he'll understand.

"Is that you're boyfriend?" Asks Lottie, smiling at me. This time a month ago she'd barely talk to me and now we could gossip for hours on end which I'm glad about, she hasn't got much people she can gossip with so I'm more than happy to sit here and talk to her, that's why it's my job. I not my head and chuckle back at her, chucking my phone down into the drawer.

"He's coming home tomorrow, been working abroad for the past two months. Anyway how'd your music exam go?" The poor girl was here the whole weekend, even on the days I don't work practicing her piano piece she was playing for her school exam.

"Think it went well, I didn't mess up anything. You know I'm like studying musicians and I'm looking at bands from wales and literally some of my favourites are welsh"

"Stereophonics, theyre welsh." Deep down I'm wondering whether or not she knows Catfish and The Bottlemen. Everybody in Llandudno knows them but Lotties a fifteen year old girl who plays piano and listens to The Beatles 24/7, amazing taste for someone who lives in a generation of rap music.

"Catfish and the Bottlemen are from here, like they went to my school. I think you'd like them,  your type of music. No piano stuff" I actually have to hold myself back from telling her that I've been on tour with them and that the lead singer is my boyfriend and the boys are the friends I grew up with. Every week me and each person I see recommend each other something new to listen to, it gives us something to talk about it brings us closer.

"Yeah I've been to see them a few times actually. You should watch their T in the Park set on youtube, it's mad" Van and I weren't together when they played T in the Park and at the time I couldn't watch it because it just made me wish I was there. When I eventually got round to watching it I ended up getting back into their music and trying to distract myself from the memories all the songs brought up because I was the girl in the songs but once I detached myself from the songs I couldn't stop listening to them. T in the Park was the thing that got me back into them.

We spend the next 10 minutes chatting about more of our favourite bands and then I teach her a little bit more on the piano although she's pretty much nailed it by now, can definitely figure things out on her own but she hasn't got the confidence. Eventually my day comes to an end and I jump in my car to head home. I'm almost there until I remember I've got no food for when Van comes home so I quickly do a U-turn and head back towards Asda. For some reason I'm nervous to see him, probably because the last time we seen each other we hardly even spoke to each other and we haven't actually spoke as much as I thought we would since.

When I park my car I remember the fact Van phoned while I was at work but I can't phone him now, he'll be on the way home. That's when I see the text 'I thought we were only home two days but no, we have two days off. We're playing in Wrexham on Sunday then Brighton on Tuesday so we decided to come home on Sunday night and head to Brighton on Tuesday morning so I'll get to spend more time with you. See you soon Bell xx'

I think he forgets I'll be working on Monday but I suppose those extra few hours do make all the difference. Although if we're going to still be as awkward as we are right now it will just do us no good. I can't help but think the whole situation in New York made him realise maybe I wasn't the one he wanted to spend his life with. Before New York he'd phone me every second day and we'd be texting 24/7 but now I was lucky if I got a call once a week and it's only been four. To start with I didn't mind the space, we needed it after the two days we had in New York but now I wish we just sorted things properly. I was hurt by the things he said and the things he didn't tell me but now I don't know if he's not speaking to me because he doesn't know how or if he's not speaking to me because I've pushed him away.