Longshot - catfish and the bottlemen

27- Van

We arrive back at the bus after one of the most unreal nights ever, I didn't want it to end. Been off the road for way too long, completely forgot how insane it is having thousands of people screaming the words to songs you wrote and even the guitar solos. Instead of having just my best mate standing at the side I had my girlfriend and the experience was just ten times better. It's weird calling Bell my girlfriend, she's more than that, she's the first girl I loved, the only one I've loved and definitely the last. Everyone's shattered now though, most of us head straight to bed but now that I think about it Bell didn't eat tea and she didn't have much lunch either, I'm probably just worrying but she'll be starving when she wakes up.

"D'you want a bit of toast or summet love?" I ask her, opening the loaf of bread because she won't eat on her own and I'm starving after tonight, it's absolutely drained me but in a good way because if you're not coming off stage absolutely knackered is there point?

"Am alright Van, thank you though" She sits down at the table to accompany me but I can't help but worry she's falling in to old patterns without me noticing, I don't want anything to happen to her, not when I can prevent it.

"You've hardly eaten today babe, you alright?" I ask casually, trying not to display my worry.

"Yeah I'm okay, just not hungry but I should probably 'av something. I'll have a bit of toast then" Bell says. This time a few months ago when she first opened up to me she would've just said she wasn't hungry and left it at that but now she's different, she's happier and she's got a reason not to give up now and I think that's what she struggled with before.

I place down the plate in front of us both and sit next to her with my arm round her, naturally she rests her head on my shoulder. All she's doing is sitting next to me with her head on my shoulder and hand on my leg and I'm going crazy, everyone says that you have that honeymoon stage at the start of your relationship that wears out but I still get butterflies whenever I look at her or whenever we come in contact with each other. If only she knew how beautiful she was, inside and out, especially for someone that's been through what she has, it's amazing.

"Tired?" I ask although I already know the answer. She's yawned about twelve times in the past minute but she's really in sitting here to keep me company, that's just her though, she'd rather sit with me all night even if she was about to fall asleep. "C'mon then sleepy" My lips place a delicate kiss in her forehead before my hand takes hers to lead her back to where we're sleeping. I notice her pick up a purple sweatshirt kind of thing that she was about to change into to go to bed but Bell looks much better asleep in my clothes so I chuck her one of my t-shirts. Her face lights up immediately and a smile makes its way on to her cheeks. The t-shirts obviously big on her cause she's tiny but she still looks unreal, it comes just below her bum.

As soon as she's changed she jumps straight into my arms, the reason I still get butterflies like the first time she did this is because there was once a time where she'd flinch whenever I touched her. She flinched whenever anyone placed a finger on her but I was always somewhat disappointed that even her boyfriends touch frightened her but it doesn't anymore and I'm glad.

"Van?" Her quiet voice asks me, the bright green eyes she owns look up at me from my chest.

"Yeah sweetheart?" I respond, giving her head a kiss and running my hand up and down her arm because I can tell she's cold, maybe not cold but she's not warm.

"Thank you" She says. Her green eyes look up at the confused look on my face which encourages her to elaborate. "For being so good to me. I don't think I would've made it here without you Van" She sounds so genuine, so vulnerable yet so brave and happy.

"Don't be silly, course you would've darling" I tell her. She props herself up on her elbow, coming up to my level.

"I mean it, you've been so patient with me and I'm surprised you didn't give up." The way she brings a hand up to my face instantly brings a smile to my face.

"I could never give up on you Bell, not again." I whisper to her. Her hand reaches down to hold mines and the affection she's been showing me in the past few days only shows me that she's not afraid anymore. She wouldn't normally be one to always go for the kiss or hold my hand, she did when we were together three years ago but not now. Until recently that is, I'm happy she's comfortable around me now, she isn't totally comfortable because she's too insecure to change in front of me and little things like that but once she learns that she's beautiful and I love her for her I'm sure we'll get there.

"Could you not have gone for someone with less emotional baggage and I don't know, better tits and a big arse or something." She jokes, laughing a little through her nose but I know she feels guilty about it all, I feel so much worse though because if I hadn't left her it wouldn't have happened so she has no reason to feel guilty.

"No because I love you and only you alright? And I really like your little tits so would you stop talking about yourself in that way please babe" I tease back, receiving a cute little giggle from her.