Longshot - catfish and the bottlemen

32- Van

I walked Bella back to hers and I'll be home just before 7. There's something about being with Bella that just makes me feel like the happiest man on the world and even after she's gone I still feel like she's right with me. The fact that this time two and a half years ago I was shitting myself about releasing the ride, knowing almost every song was about her and wondering if she'd listen to it. It was secretly a message to her, a sorry message but instead of confronting my problems I wrote a whole album thinking that would maybe make her phone me or something. The past doesn't matter now because we're together, she's mine, I know she's safe and we're happier than ever.

I let Mary off the lead as soon as I shut the gate behind me and she runs off round the back. Mums probably up by now so I walk round the back of the house because she'll shout at me for going in the front with dirty shoes and she's scary in the morning, she used to be anyway. I run inside and grab a towel to clean mary's paws before she goes any further inside and when I close the door and turn back round my mums standing there like it's a horror film. I shit myself, she just creeped up on me.

"Fucking hell mum, almost bloody gave me a heart attack" I say, kicking off my shoes at the door as she shakes her head at me. Although she had a smile on her face so I felt slightly less intimidated, maybe she misses having me sneaking in and out, I miss it.

"What were you doing walking Mary this early? Not like you to be out of bed before 12" The slight dig she has at me is said in such a jokingly way, she takes the towel from my hands and throws it in the washing basket before smiling at me with a look of pride. "You know, you've grown up in to such a man, used to need to shout at you to get your boots off at the door or clean the dogs feet before she gets inside. Still need to shout at your dad" She jokes, flicking on the kettle and grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. Two catfish and the bottlemen mugs, makes me smile seeing her show them off to me.

"The Balance is out next month, I'll need to get you a third mug to add the to collection"

"Don't need one, Ive got your dad" She jokes again and I have to admit, it was a good one. I miss times like this with my mum and dad, I wish I was here with them more but they'd rather me be across the world doing what I love than at home doing fuck all.

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Hours soon pass, 3PM soon crawls round and my bags all packed to head to America for the next two months, this time though I'm carrying on the tour without Bella. I don't want to leave her, I always know she's safe when I've always got an eye on her and she's right never far away from me but now she'll be thousands of miles away. How am I supposed to be sure she's safe and okay from a whole different continent? How am I supposed to sleep at night without her in my arms, away from the rest of the world? Who am I supposed to look at from the stage when I'm singing the songs I wrote about her? Larry doesn't quite make the cut.

Before I know it she's standing in my arms outside the bus, I don't want to let her go. The way she stands on her toes just so she can wrap her arms around my neck drives me crazy because she looks cute when she does it. My grip around her waist tightens, pulling her in closer to me so I can rest my head on her shoulder for the last time. Two months, I'll survive. I hope I'll survive. She runs her little hands through my hair, planting a kiss on my head and I can feel her smile against my skin.

"Look after yourself yeah? Promise you'll look after yourself Isabella" I whisper into her ear. She nods her head in response, pulling away slightly so we're face to face with each other as her bright green eyes gaze into mine. "Next time I'm back we'll be in our new home"

"You're only back in the UK for two weeks and you'll be touring then, next time you're in Llandudno is like 6 months" Says Bella with a smile on her face. Whether it's a genuine smile or a disappointed smile I don't know.

"I'm actually coming home to you for two days so the pressures on baby" She lets out a little chuckle as her head falls to my chest and when we break eye contact I remember our surroundings, everything seems to fade away when I'm focused on her. She gets my full attention always and I like it that way.

I think she snaps into reality too as she lets out a disappointed sigh. The disappointment doesn't seem to last long though as her lips meet mine and her arms tighten around me again. It's only two months, it can't be that bad.

Goodbye are finally said and the journey to the states begins. I'd do anything to have her with us, just to know she's safe but now everything reminding her of her past is gone. She'll be living in a whole new house soon and I can't wait to be there with her away from the rest of the world.

This is so bad, sorry😩