Longshot - catfish and the bottlemen

9- Van

Watching her work away in the corner, sorting through records and organising them accordingly reminded me just how hard working she was. When I left she was still at uni, doing her degree in music like her dad did when he left school it but now she was working in our local record shop after she graduated. She was never sure what to do with her life, her mother wanted her to study law or something but Bell had a passion for music like her dad so followed in his footsteps, she didn't want to join a band or anything, the music degree was a starting point for her though. However she would've graduated over a year ago and she's now working in a record shop.

All I wanted to do right now was make up for the past three years, make up for lost time. She'll never go back to being the girl I come home to and take into my arms while I tell her how much I love her but she'll always be the first girl I fell in love, she'll always be the girl who kept me up at night after three years without speaking. As much as I'd love to have her as my girlfriend, I messed up, badly, and there's no way she'll be able to look at me the same.

"That's me finished now" She says, pulling a leather jacket over the Franz Ferdinand t-shirt she work tucked into a pair of black mum jeans I think they're called. She's just like a girl from my dreams, although she usually is the girl in my dreams.

I followed her out the shop as she closed locked the door, for a minute it looked like she had her life together. Clearly this shop is something that means a lot to her but I just don't understand why she went through four years of uni to work in our local record shop.

The walk to hers wasn't awkward, we didn't speak much but the silence wasn't the awkward type. Bell was the first to light up a cigarette which wasn't something that would happen this time a few years back. We'd point out places from deep in our memories like the school we went to and places like that, places that brought happy memories. We eventually reached Bells house and as I made my way in I realised it was exactly how I pictured.

Her living room had character, there was a white record player in the corner to the side of a shelf with several records stacked. Then there was the side wall that was painted yellow against the other three white walls. This wall had six different vinyls on display so you could actually see the cover, the one that stuck out to me was the balcony. She had the balcony with 'you're simpatico' written on the front and a shite heart drawn next to it that I did for her, I gave her that for her birthday before we released the album because then I didn't have the money to take her out like she deserved. The fact she had it on show along with 5 other vinyls in a line across her wall meant something to me, especially because she moved here after I left her.

"Is tea okay?" She asked, wandering over from the kitchen to find me admiring her wall.

"Tea's fine love" I reply. Love is maybe a bit of a strong name to use, I call everyone love though I guess.

When she reaches up to the top shelf in her cupboard her top lifts up, revealing her very boney back and I think there's even a bruise just next to her ribs but I couldn't tell whether that was just the shadow of her top of not. Just as I'm looking at her back a packet of custard creams fall from the shelf, bouncing off Bells side before hitting the counter. In response to the packet of biscuits she clenches her fists and leans over the counter and I can see her face all scrunched up from the side. A packet of biscuits doesn't cause someone to react like that.

"You alright?" I ask, walking towards to counter and leaning on it beside her. She turned her head away from me but I could see that she was in pain, in pain from a pair of biscuits falling on her. "What's wrong?" I'm genuinely concerned now, hoping she's okay, praying in fact.

"Broke my rib about three weeks ago" Only Isabella would act like it's nothing, speaking with a little laugh in her voice.

"How'd you manage that?" I say in a lighthearted tone, taking down the original box she was reaching for and then shutting the cupboard door. Her eyes darted around the room and she started twirling a few strands of hair round her fingers like she did when she was deep in thought, I hope she wasn't going to lie. I just want to know she's okay not judge her or anything.

"I erm, fell down the stairs. You know what it's like when you get home from a late night out" The little laugh once again making an appearance but I could see right through it. This wasn't the truth, I know that for the last three years I've been missing from her life but I still seem to know when she was lying. I don't know if it's a good time to find out the truth, we've been getting on really well and I don't want to go backwards. So I just laughed along and shook my head while we wandered back to the living room with our cups of tea.

I ask about what she's really been up to but she just looks scared, not nervous, not worried, scared.