The Devil doesn't play Ice hockey.

Reconnect

Nicky’s P.O.V after "Phone Call".

I grabbed my phone and went straight to my contacts. Mum. I had to phone my mum. It was the anniversary of Scarlett’s death. It was like a ritual to phone my mum every year. Yes I spoke to dad too, but it was a bit of bonding for my mum and me.

“Hey honey”

“Hey mum, you ok? How has today been?”

“It’s been ok” my mum said, and I could hear her getting teary down the phone. “We went to the graveyard and placed some roses on there. They were called something Scarlett so I thought they were perfect”

“They sound lovely mum” I said with a small smile. Funnily enough, Scarlett had always loved roses.

“We’ve lit a candle in the living room. A red one obviously” I smiled at my mum. She had always loved red things, hence Scarlett. It was then my mum started crying.

“Please don’t cry mum”

“Nicky, ever since Scar died it’s like I’ve lost both my daughters. You’ve changed so much Nicky, we never see you anymore.” I felt so guilty right then. “Nicoletta, please come and see us honey. Please” My mum started crying a lot at this point. She was begging me to go back. I now felt very, very guilty. I had never been back to Pittsburgh since leaving. I couldn’t, but it was a long time ago. I could go back right? Even if just for the weekend. I mean I was a grown woman, I was brave enough. Or at least that was what I told myself.

“I’ll come see you mum”

“Oh thank you Nicky, thank you baby” she loved calling me that. I had always been my mum’s baby.

“I’ll get a few hours’ sleep and then I will travel up tomorrow ok?”

“Ok honey, so see you at some point in the morning?” she said a bit happier.

“Yes mum, in the morning.” I could head over to Pittsburgh, drop in and see Jordan first. Explain the situation and perhaps apologise for being rude.

“Was you working this late Nicky? You phoned late. I was expecting you earlier actually. Have you been working late again Nicky?” It was as though I was being scolded. Got to love your mum. After all you only have one.

I woke up early, although I regretted it immediately. Stupid mum, what did she have to guilt trip me for. At that moment, sleep seemed a lot more important than my mum. I moaned and rolled around in my bed like a teenager who had to be up for school.

I finally dragged myself out of bed. It took a lot of work, my bed is amazing. And then finally I set off for Pittsburgh, I set off for home. I promised this return trip would be a good one. I had hated this place since Scar had died, but now I would reconnect. Introduce Jordan as a new member of the family even. It was going to be great.

I pulled up to Jordan’s place. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I unlocked the front door. It looked very dark in his place. He clearly wasn’t up yet. I shut the door behind me, trying to be quiet. I then went upstairs and entered what I was guessing was Jordan’s bedroom, but basically the first room I came too.

“Jordan? Surprise. Oh My God” I called. My hand flew straight over my mouth. He was in bed, with another woman!

I couldn’t believe it. I had promised to make this return a good one, and Jordan had already ruined it. I could feel my eyes watering. How could he do this to me? I turned and ran straight back down his stairs, dropping his key on the floor.

Out that house I went. I got in my car and drove. I was crying my eyes out. What had I done to deserve that? Why was I so bad with men? My eyes were so blurred, I didn’t even know where I was driving. I finally pulled over and cried into my steering wheel. It was then my phone rang, Jordan. I don’t think so. I never ever want to speak to you ever again, Jordan Staal. So I hung up without answering.

I didn’t know where to go, so I went to the only person I knew I could really talk to.

“Hey Scar” I said as I sat next to her grave. I leant on the grave stone as though I was sat next to her. “Oh God, I miss you so much Scar. I’m so sorry, I am so, so sorry. I know I should have come here more. I know we shouldn’t have gone out that day. I wish so much that I could’ve said goodbye. Well I wish it had been me, instead of you.” It was then it felt like someone had touched my hand, but when I looked down it was just a rose petal, a red rose petal. It was like a sign from scar, as though she was there, holding my hand.

“I should go and speak to mum shouldn’t I? Be a proper daughter who speaks to her mum. I’ve never been a proper daughter. She must have hoped for so much more. She hoped for you back I think.”

“Nicky” I could’ve sworn it was Scarlett, it sounded just like her, but I turned to see mum.

“Why are you here Nicky? And why are you crying darling?” My mum rushed over to me and sat down next to me, taking me in her arms. I then started to cry harder.

“I miss her so much mum. It was all my fault, all my stupid fault. We never should’ve left the house.”

“Nicky don’t be silly, it was neither of your fault’s. I should’ve been there to look after my girls.”

“Oh no mum, do not go blaming yourself.” I said pulling out of my mums hold.

“Nicoletta Johnson, now you listen to me. This isn’t our fault, there was nothing any of us could have done. None of us knew that would happen. Do you think I would’ve let you go if I had? Nicky you both were so happy, and that day changed everything.” My mum replied waving her finger at me as though she was telling a child off.

“But you hated me mum, you blamed me for that. You looked so miserable around me.” I cried harder.

“Nicoletta, I never blamed you. Everyone knew it wasn’t your fault." She replied holding my face. "Nicky you were always such a bubbly, happy girl. But that girl never came back. It was so gutting. I had lost my daughter, and the daughter that was still alive was also gone. It was like a zombie in the house. It was like you had died Nicky. You were so down about it. I felt so bad, I just didn’t know what to do. How did I make you happy again? And then you were so set on leaving Pittsburgh. I never said this, but I never wanted you to leave. I could’ve begged you not to leave that day, but your father told me not to. But even then, when you were finally leaving, even then you weren’t happy. In fact Nicky, when I saw that cover photo of you and Jordan, the biggest shock was the smile across your face. It was so genuine, so full of happiness. I cried when I saw that photo, because I haven’t seen my little girl smile like that for a long time.” My mum said, starting to cry again.

“I’m so sorry mum. I’m so sorry” I replied hugging her again.

“Oh Nicky, I don’t want you to be sorry. I just want you to be happy. I want my little girl happy”