Silent Prayers

Chapter 22

Elena was not surprised to see that Stefan had arrived first at the restaurant. She was fifteen minutes early and figured he had been there for at least a good half an hour, if not longer.

Her stomach was in knots and had been all day. It had been difficult to concentrate at work and when she got home, she had stressed over what to wear. She was going to dinner with a man she had gone to dinner with hundreds of times. But this time was different.

Elena was nervous about what Stefan would say to her. She was even more nervous about what she would say to him. She had chosen a pair of navy blue capri pants with a crème colored lace top. It was casual, but dressy too. She had paired the outfit with black sandals and put her hair in a ponytail.

If he hadn't already seen her, she might have turned around and left. Elena gripped her steering wheel with both hands and closed her eyes. "Breathe, Elena" she whispered. When she opened her eyes again, Stefan was standing. His hands were in his pockets again, a nervous habit of his, and he was waiting patiently.

She figured she could not make him wait forever. And the sooner she got out of the car, the sooner dinner would be over with. Elena took one last deep breath and then got out of her car. She avoided Stefan's eyes as she walked to him.

"Hi" he said, keeping his voice neutral. Inside, he was really thrilled for her to be there with him. She did not say anything back, so he continued. "I got us a table" he added.

Elena nodded and allowed him to lead the way around the side of the restaurant and to a deck in the back overlooking the water. The restaurant did not appear to be crowded that evening, but Elena did notice that there was only one table on that deck instead of the usual five or six.

Stefan noticed what she did. He pulled out her chair for her. "I wanted us to be able to talk" he said, confirming her suspicions about no one else being around.

"So you rented out the entire deck?" Elena asked, her tone somewhat criticizing. It was not necessary, and she hated that he had done it. Their dinner meeting was nothing special and yet she felt as though he was making it something it was not. The way she had asked her question though had left him looking like a sad puppy she had just scolded. They had not even ordered and the evening was not off to a great start, thanks to her.

Stefan played with the end of the tablecloth hanging from the table. "We can go inside if you would rather eat in there" he offered, in no way wanting her to feel uncomfortable. He had not meant anything by it. He just wanted privacy.

Elena squeezed her hands together, trying to get a grip on the anxiety she was feeling. It was definitely a driving force behind her attitude towards the evening. Elena shook her head no. "Here is fine" she said, sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm just ..." she paused, trying to decide on whether or not to finish her thought.

"Nervous" Stefan confirmed. His eyes met hers suddenly when she looked up at him. "I don't want you to ever be sorry for the way you feel" he said softly. It was something he had learned in therapy, to accept how you were feeling as relevant and valid. "I'm nervous too." Six months and everything that had happened to them was a lot to think about.

Elena shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I ... I don't really know what to say to ... you" she admitted. She knew it would be impossible for her to lead the conversation.

Stefan could understand that. "You don't have to say anything" he said. Silence fell over them and he was relieved when the waiter came for the drink orders. "Just water, thank you" Stefan ordered.

Elena had looked up, surprised by his choice. She was just always so used to him ordering one kind of alcohol or another. "Sweet tea, please" she ordered. She was not too far off from her 21st birthday, but even then she was not so sure she would drink. Not after she watched it tear her life apart.